Fanfic- Harsh-verse (2)- The Darkness in Your Eyes- PG-13

[pandanoai.livejournal.com]

Title: Harsh-verse: (2) The Darkness in Your Eyes

Author: Panda

Pairing: pre-slash Steve/Tony

Rating: PG-13

Warning: You will drown in emo

Summary: Steve goes to Tony’s penthouse after the fallout of “I’m Fine”

Disclaimer: Marvel’s

Misc.: 2 of ?

 

 

A

Alright since some people asked for more, and my brain can’t function in anything but D-R-A-W-N-O-U-T and likes to boss me around, I have another story along my “harsh” fic line. This takes place after “I’m Fine.” The verse it’s in is more firmly settled in my mind now. This story definitely takes place right before Tony goes off on his really bad; I am now a homeless drunk, story arc.

 

This tale is kinda weird in a “story line” perspective.

I don’t know what comes before “I’m Fine” but I do know everything that comes after “I’m Fine.”

 

The result is this: I have written out (and must now type up and make pretty) all parts of the after “I’m Fine” story-ness. I honestly have no desire at the moment to write what happens before… but ya never know…

 

Anything that goes along with “I’m Fine” will now be referred to as Harsh-verse since I don’t exactly have a complete and continuous story line I’m working from.

 

Anyway… enough of me babbling! Onto emo-ness and depression! (^___^ yay?)

 

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Backstory: Read I’m Fine and then Tony auto-piloted off before anyone could get him to a hospital, and he yelled at Jan when she tried him on his communicator. Steve steels his thoughts and goes to Tony’s place after a while to try and knock some sense into him.

 

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“Open the door.” Steve didn’t bother knocking again.

He pulled his cowl off from around his face and let it hang behind him. He wanted to be here as Steve Rogers, as a friend, not as Captain America.

He heard a rather loud clank from behind the wooden entrance. He went from wishing he’d had time to change from his costume, to wondering if Tony even had the ability to unlock the bolt by now.

“This door won’t go three rounds with me Stark, and I know you can buy another one.”

“Depenson who ya ask.” He heard Tony say, his words slurring.

He heard another loud noise, as well as a few choice words Tony chose to emit. He had tripped on something, possibly fallen.

Steve felt the muscles in his neck tighten. 

He heard Tony groan. “Jus break it down already.”

“You can’t even come and open the door.” Steve said quietly. He closed his eyes. His grip on the handle tightened and he shoved the door inward. It snapped easily.

The first thing he noticed, as he closed the door as best he could behind him, was the overturned end table in the middle of the front foyer. All he had to do was follow the spilled alcohol to the placed Tony had propped himself up against the wall leading into the kitchen.

His chest rose and fell heavily, as though it was almost too much of a bother to breath.

Steve walked slowly towards him. He was beginning to consider that Tony had passed out and he would have to carry him up to bed, when Tony finally opened his eyes and gave him a smile so torn it hurt Steve to look at.

“Hey.” The man whispered, his head resting and lulled against the wall behind him.

“Hey.” Steve felt all of the anger he’d accrued to get over here dissolve into fear.

Tony was killing himself.

“You defeated the door huh?” His eyes looked tired and he couldn’t quite focus on Steve.

Steve could tell that he was really trying.

“Yeah. It didn’t really stand a chance.” He replied softly, crouching down in front of his friend.

Tony laughed, his body shaking slightly. There were tears in his eyes.

He stopped his laughter when he started to cough. He looked around desperately for a moment then sucked in air rapidly before his head hit the wall again. He let it lay there, and looked up at Steve, his eyes never quite reaching him.

“Let me help you up.” Steve said calmly, extending his hand. Tony’s face tightened at the word help.

“No.” Tony made a swatting motion towards the outstretched hand. “I’m fine.” His hand dropped next to him, where Tony rediscovered he had left a half drained bottle of whiskey.

His eyes focused upon it strangely and he tried to grab a hold of it as he pushed himself up from the wall.

He couldn’t quite manage the two tasks simultaneously and teetered dangerously to his left before sliding down the wall once more.

Steve quickly took the bottle from Tony’s side before the man could attempt to grab it again. Tony shot him a look and his face flushed red as he shoved himself upright against the wall, gripping it for support.

Steve felt his chest ache. His heart beat like he’d entered a battle zone but there was nothing here he could fight. Not physically.

Tony didn’t look like he’d last much longer in the position he’d chosen but he opened his eyes at Steve just the same and smiled, like he was proud of the simple accomplishment of being on his feet.

Steve didn’t react, save for the tightened grip he held on the whiskey.

Tony flippantly held out his hand. It was sweaty and shook as he tried to support himself against the wall. It took Steve a moment to realize that Tony wanted the whiskey bottle, like Steve would just up and hand it him. 

            “Why don’t we just get you to bed?” Steve said, ignoring Tony’s gesture. There was going to be no reasoning with him tonight. It would be best to just get him to go to sleep. He’d been through worse fights with no medical attention.

             He’d just be embarrassed to wake up in the hospital with a hang over. Steve felt his stomach churn.

            He remembered having the same thoughts about his father.

            A harsh little noise that resembled laughter shook Steve out of his reverie. “Never thought you swung that way Cap.” Tony said with a look he usually reserved for Bethany Cabe.

            Steve felt his cheeks burn, the tips of his ears turning red.

Captain America steeled his gaze, and his resolve. “Come on Tony.” He held out his free hand towards Tony, the one with the bottle stretched far away. Steve noticed that Tony’s eyes never left the amber liquid. It was something Steve just didn’t understand.

            Tony swatted at the hand his eyes ignored. “Why’d chu come here anyway?” Steve heard him whisper.

Steve swallowed with more force then was necessary.

Why was this so difficult to say? He willed the words to come out of his mouth, but they fell hollow in his throat.

            Captain America covered for him.

“The team was worried about you.”

            Suddenly Tony’s eyes twitched back and forth. The voice that Tony used to answer was thick and tight. It grew with panic. “The team.”

    Steve could see him trembling against the wall. “Oh God.” Tony winced. “I can’t do this anymore.” He whispered, shutting his eyes tightly and looking as though he might fall forward.

    Steve held him up with his free arm, his brain momentarily buzzing from the breakthrough that Tony had realized this HAD to stop. He took in a breath to speak. Tony beat him to it.

            “I can’t keep pretending to be Iron Man anymore. I thought I could just hide behind the mask but it always finds me.”

            Steve felt his heart sinking away.

His arms both dropped to his sides. He looked at the man who was in the body of his best friend.

Where had Tony gone?

“Jus go back to yer mansion and take care of the people who really matter Cap.” Tony said sullenly, staggering dangerously once again. His eyes falling back to the bottle.

Steve’s jaw ached from clenching it so tightly.

“No!” Steve shouted and shoved Tony back against the wall. He held his arm there by Tony’s side to help the man stand, and to force him to look up.

Tony cringed as his head lulled forward. “Just go away.” His breath was ragged again.

“No, Tony. Look at me.”

The steel blue eyes dragged themselves up from what seemed like an infinite pit. Whosever eyes they were, Steve had never seem them before. “You need help.”

The hand that was gripping Steve’s arm for support clenched and scratched at skin.

Cap ignored the pain. 

“What the hell do you care?” Tony said, suddenly very angry. His eyes, ruined and dark as they were, burned into Steve’s mind.

Steve came in even closer to Tony. He held him to the wall.
”I’m your friend Tony!” Steve whispered harshly.  “I’m your… friend.” He looked down for a second, then returned his eyes to Stark.

Tony paused, no longer caught in his anger. His eyes tried to focus again. They flickered slowly up and down and stopped on the broad star Steve wore on the middle of his chest. Tony’s focus was hurtful and sad, as though he was trying to figure out why anyone would want to be his friend—let alone Captain America.

Steve wished he had changed. He had never so hated his uniform.

            “I know that.” Tony finally responded. It was quiet and pained, as though Tony had just entered the conversation and the first thing Steve had done was yell at him.

            “You don’t act like you know it. You’re acting like you’re the only person in the world.”

            Tony winced as though from a physical assault. Steve continued.

“You don’t have to do this alone Tony.” Steve let the arm that had been supporting Tony bend and waver. Tony’s weight threatened to sit him down. The sweat on his skin glowed.

“You can’t do this on your own.” Steve concluded.

Tony’s eyes dropped once again to the bottle. Steve felt his throat choke up. “What Tony please!? What do you want me to do? What can I…”

            And suddenly, Steve felt a hard hot pressure upon his lips. His eyes went wide for a moment. Tony.

            Tony.

Tony, sick with sweat and fever hot was kissing him.

Steve Rogers closed his eyes.

 

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It was difficult to get into the mood to write this down. Listening to certain songs definately helped. Suicide Note by Johnette Napolitano... sure fire win!  <_<

 

^_^

Panda

xoxo