ext_22652 (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
entropy-house.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
cap_ironman2015-07-31 10:10 pm
entropy-house.livejournal.com) wrote in cap_ironman2015-07-31 10:10 pm
Entry tags:
FIC: Mind Over Matter
Mind Over Matter (802 words) by AnonEhouse
Rating: Teen
Warnings:None
Universe: MCU, AU
Genre:Angst
Tony feels an instant attraction to Steve, but of course, it could never go anywhere. He's not even going to let Steve suspect. Tony is going to use pure force of will to stop wanting Steve. Sure he is.
(Takes place in a movieverse where the Avengers took Tony up on his offer of Tower space and Pepper and Tony were never an item. Basically ignores everything after the first Avengers movie.)
A fill for the 'Mind Control' square on my Bingo card.
When people talk about mind control, Tony always feels the urge to ask them to define their terms. Are they talking about indoctrination, brain-washing, social pressure or even the subtle commercial manipulation of attitude?
Blue pill, red pill. Blue makes you sleepy, doesn't it? Red is blood and life and action. Red is danger and being alert. Red is Iron Man. Yeah, Tony's cynical enough to use psychology, why not?
If you've got a brain, you use it. You control it. You learn to shunt pain aside. Maybe you use crutches like drugs, and alcohol and random sex, but ultimately they all fail. Particularly, they all fail when you can't evade the cause of the pain. The arc reactor will always hurt. If he had the thing removed tomorrow, and his missing bits replaced with modern marvels of medicine, it would still hurt. But the thing is, Tony moves too fast for the pain to catch up with him. He's too busy to pay attention to it.
Only, there's pain, and there's pain. He never really had to deal with wanting someone so bad it hurt. Nearly everyone said 'yes' to Tony Stark almost before he asked. Pepper and Rhodey had said, 'hell, no, Tony' which he could have taken as a challenge, but instead it was reassuring. They liked him despite him being Tony Stark, and they weren't afraid to be honest with him.
It wasn't like that with Steve, no. Tony had looked at him and his brain betrayed him. He didn't think 'wow, he's good looking and sex with him would be great'. He didn't think at all. His gut just went hot and tense, and then cold and liquid and his miserable scarred heart clenched, and he wanted. He'd felt instant desire before, sure, but not like this. This was all twisted up with messy emotions that had nothing to do with physical contact, not to say he was denying the impulse to climb Steve like a tree, but there was this urge to impress, to brag, to make himself look witty and smart and strong, and wow, it was like he was suddenly a buck clashing antlers with anyone he could find.
Even Steve. It was just. So frustrating. He couldn't stop trying to flirt, but it came out mean and hurtful, and he knew he was sabotaging himself. But what else could he do? They were worlds, generations, sexual inclinations, apart. Steve had been in love with a woman. Dad's stories had painted Steve as naive, but heterosexual as all get out, without so much as a wistful glance in the showers. Dad was like Tony, even though those days you'd have more reason to hide liking the look of a guy as well as a gal, so Dad could be trusted on that, Tony thought. The old man had a crush on Steve a mile wide, and he certainly would have been looking for any chinks in the macho armor.
So, there was Steve. Steve with his plaids and perfectly parted hair. Steve with his clear blue eyes and open honest face. Steve with his pride and his courage and his refusal to even acknowledge the shitty hand life had always dealt him.
The last thing Steve needed was... well, Tony. Too old. Too scarred. Too callous. Too broken in so many ways. Also, let us make this perfectly clear. Far too male.
Tony is selfish, but he's not so selfish as to break something he can't have. So he smiles, and he shakes Steve's hand, and he goes back to his Tower alone. He's going to work on this. He's going to fix this. He can't have Steve. He shouldn't want Steve. He's going to learn how not to want Steve.
Tony has a good mind. This with Steve. It doesn't matter. He can push that aside. He can.
Of course, he'll have to test his resolve. The Avengers shouldn't be stuck under Fury's thumb. The Tower's got plenty of unused space. People were timid to rent, because of the newness of the arc reactor, and Loki targeting it had scared off other potential occupants. A floor for each of them wouldn't be unreasonable. They needed to learn to work together, to be a team. They couldn't very well do that if they only showed up for battles. They needed to live together.
Tony needed to see Steve every day. See him sweating after a workout. See him sleepy-eyed in the morning. See him screw up, like anyone else. Yeah. That's it. Tony just needs to desensitize himself by over-exposure to Steve.
No one is all that great.
Tony will put his mind to it, and pretty soon Steve will be just a really good looking, amazing, and wonderful man.
Tony is so screwed.
Rating: Teen
Warnings:None
Universe: MCU, AU
Genre:Angst
Tony feels an instant attraction to Steve, but of course, it could never go anywhere. He's not even going to let Steve suspect. Tony is going to use pure force of will to stop wanting Steve. Sure he is.
(Takes place in a movieverse where the Avengers took Tony up on his offer of Tower space and Pepper and Tony were never an item. Basically ignores everything after the first Avengers movie.)
A fill for the 'Mind Control' square on my Bingo card.
When people talk about mind control, Tony always feels the urge to ask them to define their terms. Are they talking about indoctrination, brain-washing, social pressure or even the subtle commercial manipulation of attitude?
Blue pill, red pill. Blue makes you sleepy, doesn't it? Red is blood and life and action. Red is danger and being alert. Red is Iron Man. Yeah, Tony's cynical enough to use psychology, why not?
If you've got a brain, you use it. You control it. You learn to shunt pain aside. Maybe you use crutches like drugs, and alcohol and random sex, but ultimately they all fail. Particularly, they all fail when you can't evade the cause of the pain. The arc reactor will always hurt. If he had the thing removed tomorrow, and his missing bits replaced with modern marvels of medicine, it would still hurt. But the thing is, Tony moves too fast for the pain to catch up with him. He's too busy to pay attention to it.
Only, there's pain, and there's pain. He never really had to deal with wanting someone so bad it hurt. Nearly everyone said 'yes' to Tony Stark almost before he asked. Pepper and Rhodey had said, 'hell, no, Tony' which he could have taken as a challenge, but instead it was reassuring. They liked him despite him being Tony Stark, and they weren't afraid to be honest with him.
It wasn't like that with Steve, no. Tony had looked at him and his brain betrayed him. He didn't think 'wow, he's good looking and sex with him would be great'. He didn't think at all. His gut just went hot and tense, and then cold and liquid and his miserable scarred heart clenched, and he wanted. He'd felt instant desire before, sure, but not like this. This was all twisted up with messy emotions that had nothing to do with physical contact, not to say he was denying the impulse to climb Steve like a tree, but there was this urge to impress, to brag, to make himself look witty and smart and strong, and wow, it was like he was suddenly a buck clashing antlers with anyone he could find.
Even Steve. It was just. So frustrating. He couldn't stop trying to flirt, but it came out mean and hurtful, and he knew he was sabotaging himself. But what else could he do? They were worlds, generations, sexual inclinations, apart. Steve had been in love with a woman. Dad's stories had painted Steve as naive, but heterosexual as all get out, without so much as a wistful glance in the showers. Dad was like Tony, even though those days you'd have more reason to hide liking the look of a guy as well as a gal, so Dad could be trusted on that, Tony thought. The old man had a crush on Steve a mile wide, and he certainly would have been looking for any chinks in the macho armor.
So, there was Steve. Steve with his plaids and perfectly parted hair. Steve with his clear blue eyes and open honest face. Steve with his pride and his courage and his refusal to even acknowledge the shitty hand life had always dealt him.
The last thing Steve needed was... well, Tony. Too old. Too scarred. Too callous. Too broken in so many ways. Also, let us make this perfectly clear. Far too male.
Tony is selfish, but he's not so selfish as to break something he can't have. So he smiles, and he shakes Steve's hand, and he goes back to his Tower alone. He's going to work on this. He's going to fix this. He can't have Steve. He shouldn't want Steve. He's going to learn how not to want Steve.
Tony has a good mind. This with Steve. It doesn't matter. He can push that aside. He can.
Of course, he'll have to test his resolve. The Avengers shouldn't be stuck under Fury's thumb. The Tower's got plenty of unused space. People were timid to rent, because of the newness of the arc reactor, and Loki targeting it had scared off other potential occupants. A floor for each of them wouldn't be unreasonable. They needed to learn to work together, to be a team. They couldn't very well do that if they only showed up for battles. They needed to live together.
Tony needed to see Steve every day. See him sweating after a workout. See him sleepy-eyed in the morning. See him screw up, like anyone else. Yeah. That's it. Tony just needs to desensitize himself by over-exposure to Steve.
No one is all that great.
Tony will put his mind to it, and pretty soon Steve will be just a really good looking, amazing, and wonderful man.
Tony is so screwed.