ext_18328: (0)
ext_18328 ([identity profile] jazzypom.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] cap_ironman 2008-09-29 10:32 pm (UTC)

Cute

But it should be worst not worse. Remember the superlatives: bad, worse, worst.

Then, the "do you live so close." Should be a full stop instead of a comma.

Some of the speech tags are dodgy... but it's a really cute story. Why is PG-13? PG would be more appropriate.

Really cute story!

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