ext_141321 ([identity profile] neptunedream.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] cap_ironman2009-01-11 12:48 am
Entry tags:

Fic thingy: Feeling Good.

Whoa, what the Hell? I haven't posted anything in like...months or something.

This is something I just churned out in the last half hour. Angsty and reflective.

Title: Feeling Good.
Author: NeptuneDream
Rated: PG. Nothin' serious.
Summary: Fuck. Steve. Shit. God damnit.
Disclaimer: HEY, NOT MINE. WELL, THE WRITIN' IS, BUT I AIN'T NO STAN LEE.
Beta'd: [livejournal.com profile] smilingskull read it over real quick. :P
Notes: Just a little reflection, like I said. Spoilers for the current arc of Invincible Iron Man and the events of Secret Invasion. Very up-to-date with the God-forsaken 616 universe.

Enjoy and let me know what you think!
 

Feeling Good.

 It had been years now. God, years and years of complete chaos had somehow established themselves as normal at this point. For the long stretch of pseudo-stability in his life, experiences that normal people could only dream of had become downright routine. It had been a very, very interesting life; so much so that he himself couldn't even recall all the insane things that had taken place. Yet...Events still managed to surface that could be considered out of the ordinary even for someone who had fought limitless foes with limitless allies. Hell, he'd even died (an occurrence he would prefer to forget).

But, as he had acknowledged, life had managed to become even more chaotic. The seemingly limitless number of friends and allies had diminished to...well, none. Maybe a couple if you count Pepper. Or Hill. And sure, Hill was a Hell of a shot and could do a couple fancy somersaults or whatever, but... He sighed. He really was on his own. And normally, he wouldn't need anyone to protect him.

He smiled slightly at the corner of his mouth. 'Normally he wouldn't need protection.' He had forgotten what 'normal' even meant anymore. Normally he would just use his superpowered armor and blast his foes with repulsor rays. Normally he could look up and access any level of digital data with his brain. Normally he could confide in greatest friend and ally with as simple a movement as looking to his left or right. And slightly upward.

 Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Steve. Shit. God damnit. He placed his chin on his hand, index finger rubbing the top of his lip. He stared off for a moment, still internally surprised that the data input from Extremis was absent. Shit. Fucking Skrulls. He choked out a bitter laugh; he had lost the last remaining shreds of faith from his former allies, lost one of his most important teammates, and been robbed of everything he had worked so long and so hard to develop...Fuck. And frankly, he still didn't quite understand why the Skrulls had bothered in the first place. Well, at least not as fully as he understood most other matters...Shit.

He wished for a minute that maybe, somehow, on the steps of the courthouse, a Skrull disguised as Steve Rogers had been shot. Maybe for even a second, that Goddamn stupid Skrull could have had his life - Steve's life - flash before his eyes and felt himself fade away from existence. Maybe he could have felt a bit of remorse. Shit, the Skrulls had managed to replace Hank Pym before the Civil War had even started. Somehow.

He sighed deeply, furrowing his brow slightly and shutting his eyes. Hank Pym came off the Skrull mothership after the Invasion had ended, albeit disoriented and in for the biggest and most horrifying surprise of his life... but alive. Steve didn't. Tony had wondered what it would have been like to see Rogers walk off the mothership. Would have been the best surprise of his Goddamn life. And sure, Steve probably would have hated him too after he'd learned what happened. Especially since he would have found out that being replaced had sadly kept him from being killed.

But maybe, he thought, for one moment, Steve's eyes would have met his own. Maybe he would have felt a rush of warmth and excitement - Hell, even relief, most sacred of all experiences - for the first time in a long while. Maybe he would have been able to shake Steve's hand before he was inevitably briefed on the events that had occurred during his replacement. That strong, confident handshake.

Or maybe they would have embraced. Jesus Christ. Maybe they would have fucking embraced...
Maybe, they would have...--

Shit. Again. Tony had let his mind wander. Steve Rogers was fucking dead. Sure, maybe alive in another dimension, but definitely not one that he'd be able to access anytime soon.

Especially not with the plan he was preparing himself to execute. Yes indeed, Tony Stark, Iron Man, was going to go out with a bang. Sadly, not an explosion, but rather the largest act of heroism and self-sacrifice he could achieve at this point. At this point, with his worldwide cowardice imfamously acknowledged by the entirety of Earth. It was the only way he could possibly conceive, in all his technical, tactical skill, to redeem himself in any way possible. In a sad, sick way, Tony Stark was feeling strangely optimistic.

All he can do for now, however, is hope that he'll meet up with Captain America wherever he is now.

-end.

[identity profile] smilingskull.livejournal.com 2009-01-11 06:31 am (UTC)(link)
I love this. To bits. It does not suck. I think my eyes are bleeding from staring at CSS for too long. You're awesome.

BUT NO REALLY. IT'S FABITY FAB. If I were more coherent, this would make more sense. Rest assured you + this = awesome.

(Gee, where'd you get that totally fly icon? ;D)
ext_18328: (Default)

It's enough to drive a man to drink, it is.

[identity profile] jazzypom.livejournal.com 2009-01-11 10:09 am (UTC)(link)
I do sympathise with Stark on many levels, but this fic just catalogues the labyrinthine path of how Stark got here and... whoa.

I feel you, Stark I feel you.

I admire your clean prose, and how you don't belabour or witter over various points. It's just very clean. Thank your beta.

[identity profile] ani-bester.livejournal.com 2009-01-12 03:25 am (UTC)(link)
nice
I mean a far as stabbing my heart with a the painful knife of well written tragedy can be called "nice"

I really enjoyed this and I this you did a great job displaying the emotion Tony must be feeling. The parts where he fantasizes about Steve walking off the ship were especially painful and well done.

[identity profile] pandanoai.livejournal.com 2009-01-12 04:53 am (UTC)(link)
*heart. ripping. out. of. chest.*
well done.
i can't even explain to you how much this line got to me:

All he can do for now, however, is hope that he'll meet up with Captain America wherever he is now.

wonderful job.

[identity profile] ladymordecai.livejournal.com 2009-01-12 05:55 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, Tony. Yeah. Good luck going out with a bang.

Nice, oddly quiet gut-punch of a fic.

[identity profile] simmysim.livejournal.com 2009-01-12 11:51 am (UTC)(link)
Very, very nice. Guh, Tony's hoping/day dreaming is especially rough after what actually happened with Thor.

In a sad, sick way, Tony Stark was feeling strangely optimistic.

How depressingly accurate :c