valtyr: (0)
valtyr ([personal profile] valtyr) wrote in [community profile] cap_ironman 2009-12-13 11:06 pm (UTC)

I really like this! It would be so easy for a fic about a seriously scarred Tony to descend into an angsty wallow, but you balance it with Tony's self-deprecation and determination so we can clearly see canon-Tony, with the little quirks of AU in him.

I loved things like Tony being lost in his designing, you invoked the free-association flow so well. The use of Tony's tech, I always love that: The blazing infa-red silhouette Steve cast after the battle, trapped body heat burning through the red-white-and-blue leather in slow, diminishing pulses. Waves.

And the scene in the bathroom, Steve touching Tony's face, was incredibly hot, Steve feeling everything, and Tony's lips and the scratch of his moustache. Lovely. I'm looking forward to the next part!

A tiny quibble - I think you're hitting the capslock a bit hard. You might want to consider italicizing instead, as it leaps out less. (And honestly I think in several cases you don't need the emphasis, the words stand up just fine on their own.)

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