Ah, I really hope it didn't sound like I was saying "God you're weird, you must have a functional disorder", because that's really not what I meant, it was just that you seem to know a lot about Asperger's and other dysfunctions, and the only people I've met that've been either have AS or is close with someone who has it or works with Aspies, so that's why I asked. And I'm not saying that you are an Asperger's personality, though you seem to have some of the major traits. *g* My dad is undiagnosed; when he learnt about my diagnosis his reaction was "But-- that's me!" but he didn't bother to get an official diagnosis since he was already middle-aged. I think a diagnosis is most useful when you're young, kid-young, since it allows you to get the help you need in school. Also, as my dad's said, clever Aspies learn how to act and how to think, so a test would be mostly useless. (I have this terrifying image of Tony being on a shrink evaluation. I'd put money on him manipulating the test answers to come to the most outrageous diagnosis possible, just to mess with them.)

Well, naturally Tony didn't read the actual book, like you said, but he's picked it up along the way. I suppose Tony having Asperger's would explain some of the choices he's made? I mean, not in a oh-you-can't-blame-him-it's-not-his-fault way, but explain why he's prioritized as he's done. Like,
Tony: Okay, this is a shitty situation. According to logic, the best solution would be to blow the Evil Reactor Lair(TM) up.
Some other character who is not Tony: But that would bring unpleasantries to thousands of people! They -- and we -- will hate you!
Tony: Yes, but logic says it's the best solution in the long run. (And it's not like I don't deserve it.)
for an off-the-cuff example. People with autism tend to be percieved as cold -- which is completely incorrect -- because they think and perhaps prioritizes differently. (Personally, I don't fit in the "usual" Asperger's profile, because I'm overly empathetic and completely enter into what I read/watch/hear.)
Not to say Tony's hasn't made some really cad-like moves. Just, I don't see him as a bad person or the pure bastard Civil War seems to've made him out to be. He's human. ::shrugs::

And I agree so much about Tony's opinion on what a hero is! His devotion to "do the right thing" really echoes the classic black-and-white thinking often connected with autism. And hey, a super-hero whose power is Tony's special interest? Who wouldn't like that? If I could fight crime by citing film dialogues, I would at least try it out.

Tony is incredibly masculine and kinght-in-shining-armory, while also extremely vulnerable, which kicks people's nurture instinct and inner Florence Nightingale into overdrive. And that's not even taking his self-destructive tendencies into account.
The kind of partner Tony'd need would be one who is patient, attentive and socially sensitive, calm and safe without being overbearing, have the patience (again) to know when to give Tony free reins and when to hold them tight, have the ability to let Tony be the protector when Tony wants/needs to be but still always have his back, and of course the most important thing -- appreciate Tony's good sides enough to think they outweigh the bad ones. Now, where could a person like that be...? ::grins::