Huh. I only knew it was the first thing he'd think of, but you're right, that is why he lists Peter's death first.
The depersonalization of the armor.... Tony was always so intent on the armor only being used for good; he saw Iron Man as being some pure part of him. But even before Civil War, I think he was losing that. With Extremis, the armor was more a part of him than ever, physically and psychologically. Between that and revealing his identity, Tony seemed to lose the compartmentalization that always protected his Iron Man side. If Tony was compromised, Iron Man was compromised. So in one sense, it's lifeless to him because it no longer embodies the part of him he values. In another, it's a depersonalization of himself, because of course the armor is only a symbol.
Sadly, it's possible Steve did believe him, but he still couldn't compromise his principles. It may even be that Tony didn't try harder to convince him because morally, Steve was right. It couldn't save Tony from doing what he had to, but Tony has always relied on Steve to do the right thing even when Tony couldn't do it himself. But I love this about Tony, that he lives in an infinitely more complex world than most of the superheroes. It gets him in hot water sometimes, but it also means that in really ugly, complicated situations, he's uniquely able to do something. But he also pays a really ugly, complicated price for doing so that few of his friends are in a position to really understand.
(As an aside, I suspect Tony and Steve weren't having the same argument as everyone else; the two of them were, as usual, disagreeing about ideals vs. reality. I think it was a failure of trust, really: Tony couldn't trust that Steve would find a way, and Steve couldn't trust that Tony wasn't being an elitist dick or influenced by Extremis. But I like to think Tony went in believing Cap'd find a way to make it better while he held the line.)
...these F%&*#! writers were listening to Black Sabbath, weren't they.
...I bet. Also the Iliad. Cassandra was one of roughly five people with any sense in that story.
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The depersonalization of the armor.... Tony was always so intent on the armor only being used for good; he saw Iron Man as being some pure part of him. But even before Civil War, I think he was losing that. With Extremis, the armor was more a part of him than ever, physically and psychologically. Between that and revealing his identity, Tony seemed to lose the compartmentalization that always protected his Iron Man side. If Tony was compromised, Iron Man was compromised. So in one sense, it's lifeless to him because it no longer embodies the part of him he values. In another, it's a depersonalization of himself, because of course the armor is only a symbol.
Sadly, it's possible Steve did believe him, but he still couldn't compromise his principles. It may even be that Tony didn't try harder to convince him because morally, Steve was right. It couldn't save Tony from doing what he had to, but Tony has always relied on Steve to do the right thing even when Tony couldn't do it himself. But I love this about Tony, that he lives in an infinitely more complex world than most of the superheroes. It gets him in hot water sometimes, but it also means that in really ugly, complicated situations, he's uniquely able to do something. But he also pays a really ugly, complicated price for doing so that few of his friends are in a position to really understand.
(As an aside, I suspect Tony and Steve weren't having the same argument as everyone else; the two of them were, as usual, disagreeing about ideals vs. reality. I think it was a failure of trust, really: Tony couldn't trust that Steve would find a way, and Steve couldn't trust that Tony wasn't being an elitist dick or influenced by Extremis. But I like to think Tony went in believing Cap'd find a way to make it better while he held the line.)
...these F%&*#! writers were listening to Black Sabbath, weren't they.
...I bet. Also the Iliad. Cassandra was one of roughly five people with any sense in that story.