I think that was after they slept together? So we have the "is Tony even able to consent" question and the "if he isn't does Pepper actually realise" question. :/ I mean, he is still piloting the armour and such, which even in the earlier suits was complex and difficult work. It's just such a mess, narratively, it's hard to tell what's going on - Flowers for Algernon worked because we had a direct line into the mind of the protagonist and could gauge his state pretty accurately.

Yes, they'll be able to retrieve squishy brain bits from lava. Of course. Although I suppose that line could have been Tony deliberately obfuscating his real intent.