This post was brought to you by the morning I spent writing 3k of detailed instructions on how to treat 3rd degree burns, only to read not an hour later a fic (same fandom, different author) wherein one character was totally going to cool them, then decided to smear ointment all over the things instead -waves arms in incoherent horror-

I was, at that time, going to call this post "Bad First Aid in Fanfic Makes Baby Jesus Cry" but since decided better.