cap_ironman | Fic: What Follows the Big Bang

What Follows the Big Bang (594 words) by AnonEhouse
Rating: Explicit
Warnings:None
Universe: MCU, AU
Genre:Crack

Tony catches Steve up on some basic scientific advances. Steve is eager to expand his horizons.

(Takes place in a movieverse where the Avengers took Tony up on his offer of Tower space and Pepper and Tony were never an item. Basically ignores everything after the first Avengers movie.)

A fill for the 'For Science' square on my Bingo card. Completes a column.

"Well," Steve said smugly after he rolled off of Tony and lay beside him, all hot and sweaty. "How was that for a Big Bang?"

Tony took a moment to catch his breath. "Steve, are you trying to talk sexy science?"

"Yes?" Steve frowned because Tony was giggling. "So, what did I say wrong? Einstein talked about the Big Bang! He was a genius!"

"Yep. But, you know, he was a genius back then. Times change."

"That's true enough," Steve replied. "So, what was wrong with the Big Bang theory?"

"It was good as far as it went, but the theory of general relativity can't tell us what came before the singularity which had to exist before the Big Bang. It also implies that there should be similar singularities at the center of black holes."

"Say that again."

"Too difficult for you?" Tony said with a slight smirk.

"No, I just like the way your mouth looks when you say 'similar singularities'."

"Huh." Tony tried it out. "Yeah, like a kiss. Which reminds me." Tony rolled over on top of Steve and kissed him a few times, just to test the idea.

"So," Steve said, "What was that about black holes?" Steve tried for an innocent look.

"Yeah, no. I'm too tired." Tony slumped on top of Steve. "OH! Yeah, well, general relativity failed to describe the singularity that it suggests should be at the center of them. Also, what about the information loss paradox?"

"Yes, what about that?" Steve said, while fondling Tony's ass.

Tony squirmed a little. "If something falls into a black hole and gets squashed to a singularity, what happens to the information it contained? Big Bangers can't tell us that."

"Maybe they need to try harder." Steve squeezed and then stroked.

Tony caught his breath. "ANYWAY, as I was saying, Abhay Ashtekar and his team at Penn. State, way back in 2006, came up with loop quantum gravity."

"That sounds like a toy. Like... hula hoops."

"And who told you about hula hoops?"

"There was a video..."

"Stop. I was very young and I found it in the attic."

"I liked the way you shook your hips." Steve did something that made Tony stop thinking for a while, but he gamely returned to his lecture once his heart rate had normalized.

"Loop quantum gravity, Steve. It explains a lot. It suggests that the universe is never nothing. That there was never a singularity, but instead there was the leftovers of a squashed universe that existed before ours. They postulate an infinite loop, with the universe shrinking to tiny, and then exploding like the Big Bang, then shrinking down again."

"I can see the relevance of this theory," Steve said, exploring between Tony's legs. "Tiny to explode, and back again."

"Yes, Steve, but it takes time." Tony nudged Steve's hands away. "So, you know, this goes on forever, which is why they call it a 'loop'. People in the field call it the Big Bounce, replacing the Big Bang."

"I could get behind the Big Bounce."

"In the morning. You're insatiable. Lucky me." Tony leaned over and there was more kissing and fondling. "Oh, and the Big Bounce explains black holes, too. Shove something in, and it gets squeezed down, but not to nothing, and then it gets spit back out somewhere else."

"Where?"

"Well, they don't know exactly, but the theoretical model... well... anywhere... even into another universe."

Steve looked thoughtful. "Maybe I'd better put a string on me, next time." He patted Tony on the ass.

Tony giggled.