ext_22652 ([identity profile] entropy-house.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] cap_ironman2015-09-01 04:54 pm

Fic: On A Pedestal

On A Pedestal (569 words) by AnonEhouse
Rating: Gen
Warnings:None
Universe: AU, Crack
Genre: AU, Crack


This is a fill for the Tiny Stony RB prompt Code Name: Justice



Iron Man was strong, but flexible. He'd survived the puppy and the kitten and even the visiting baby before the Powers That Be created this special shelf to do him honor and keep him away from his adoring fans.

It was safe. So, so, very safe. Up here on this empty wasteland of a shelf.

Iron Man was bored out of his bobble headed skull. He was so bored that he sneaked down to the desk below the shelf one day when the Powers had snatched up her purse and raced out of the house in too much of a hurry to shut off her desktop computer.

He didn't even have to break any passwords. Such lax security made him bobble his head in disapproval; at the same time he took advantage of it. Most of computer's contents was boring, boring, boring, but then he found the digital subscription to Marvel. It was an eye opener. Now he knew what was missing from his life.

Powers had a laughably easy to guess password for her Amazon.com account, and...oh, look, right there in her wish list... there he was in all his red, white and blue vinyl glory. A few clicks and the order was confirmed.

He then spent ten minutes sending Powers' email a ton of spam to shove the Amazon confirmation notice out of sight. He was a GENIUS. Iron Man did a smug little victory dance and decided to go back to his shelf.

He looked up at it. It was a long way away. And his repulsors weren't working. "Uh oh," he said as the kitten bounced into the room and pounced on him. "Loki, if you scratch me, you're gonna be in big trouble."

Fortunately, Thor the golden retriever pup had followed the black kitten and chased it from the room, leaving Iron Man to pop his dents back out and lie down on the keyboard to pretend he'd just fallen. With any luck, Loki would take the blame.


***



"I didn't order anything from Amazon. Did I?" Powers took the smiling brown box into the room and stared at it. "It's my name and address. Should I open it? Can I send it back if I open it?"

Iron Man trembled inside, where Powers couldn't see it. Open it! Open it! he thought as hard as he could.

Powers set the box aside and went to the computer. She found the order on her Amazon account. "Huh. Well... it was on my wish list. I must have forgot I ordered it." She shrugged and opened the box. "Hi, Cap!" She took him out of the packaging and twisted his head and made him do the obligatory wiggle dance before she put him on the shelf next to Iron Man. "Have fun, guys," Powers said.

Iron Man looked at Captain America without turning his head. Cap was looking at him, too, he could tell. Sitrep, Iron Man. Cap thought at him. Cap sounded just like Iron Man had dreamed.

We have the house to ourselves once Powers goes to bed. We'll have to watch out for Loki the kitten, but the puppy Thor doesn't like the taste of vinyl so he won't bother us.

A puppy's strength and mobility would be an asset. We'll recruit him. We're not going to sit on a shelf and gather dust!

Iron Man smiled inside. You're the boss.
laireshi: (tony)

[personal profile] laireshi 2015-09-04 03:09 am (UTC)(link)
Aww, this is so much fun!