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cap_ironman2015-09-12 11:31 pm
entropy-house.livejournal.com) wrote in cap_ironman2015-09-12 11:31 pm
FIC: Alley Allies
Alley Allies (563 words) by AnonEhouse
Rating: Teen
Warnings:None
Universe: Animated
Genre: Animated, Crack
Supervillain Tony Stark flirts with Supervillain The Captain.
This is a fill for the Tiny Stony RB prompt Code Name: KREE
It wasn't as if they were friends, but Tony respected the Captain as a worthy competitor in the super villain world. The man had style. Anyone could pick up a gun and commit crimes, but it took nerve to rely on purely physical abilities to carry out epic acts of sabotage.
Also, Tony despised Hammertech on principle. So when a flyby revealed the Captain cornered in an alley by Hammer's second rate bots he swooped in, blasting away merrily at the little tin widgets (he refused to think of them by the same word he'd use for Dum-E). "Hi, Cap! Having a little Hammeroid problem? "
"Everything's a joke with you," the Captain replied without breaking stride, flinging his frisbee and catching it with seemingly effortless grace. JARVIS had analyzed the shield as best he could without actually having possession of the thing, and Tony knew it had a hell of a kick. Cap was one tough cookie. A cookie with a really great ass.
"Anything to do with Hammer is a joke," Tony replied as he repulsored several of Hammer's repulsive creations.
"I want you at my side," the Captain said.
Tony obeyed automatically, and then was a little annoyed at himself even as he backed into position beside the All-American Criminal. "What, you don't trust me out of your sight?"
Without glancing away from the droids, the Captain picked his shield out of the air. "You were looking at my ass."
"I was... I was watching your flank!" Tony protested. There weren't many droids left, which seemed a pity. "Wait. How did you know..."
The Captain huffed a short laugh. "You just told me." He smashed the final pair of bots, and then saluted Tony. He was grinning. "We'll have to do this again, sometime."
"Hey! Don't go, Cap!"
The Captain turned back to face Tony. His smile had faded, and his eyes were wary. "Think you can stop me from going, Iron Man?"
Tony flipped up his faceplate to smirk at Cap. "I think I can make you come, Captain."
The Captain rolled his eyes, but his muscles relaxed. "That is a terrible pick up line, Tony."
"It's only terrible if it didn't work. Look, I've got an enormous..." Tony paused. "Not what you're thinking. An enormous flying base. I rattle around in it." He tried putting on a pitiful expression. "It's lonely at the top."
The Captain really laughed this time. "I'm busy."
"I know, I know, you have an agenda, asses to kick, SHIELD storehouses to sabotage, and I'm on board for that."
"There's no money in it," the Captain said.
"I have some robots... real robots... to test. This'll be good practice for them. C'mon," Tony wheedled. "We can discuss it over coffee. My treat. I'll even buy you a bagel."
"You think I can be bought with a bagel?" the Captain was actually teasing him.
Tony dared to fling an arm around Cap's shoulders. "You can have all the toppings you want."
"You're incorrigible." Cap put his arm around Tony's waist.
"Hello, have you met me? I'm Tony Stark." He let his faceplate seal in place with a clunk. "Ready?"
"Ready? For... Tony, no!" Cap said, but when Tony fired his jet boots, Cap hung on and laughed.
This could be the start of something, Tony thought. He wondered if Cap was a blond. He liked blonds.
Rating: Teen
Warnings:None
Universe: Animated
Genre: Animated, Crack
Supervillain Tony Stark flirts with Supervillain The Captain.
This is a fill for the Tiny Stony RB prompt Code Name: KREE
It wasn't as if they were friends, but Tony respected the Captain as a worthy competitor in the super villain world. The man had style. Anyone could pick up a gun and commit crimes, but it took nerve to rely on purely physical abilities to carry out epic acts of sabotage.
Also, Tony despised Hammertech on principle. So when a flyby revealed the Captain cornered in an alley by Hammer's second rate bots he swooped in, blasting away merrily at the little tin widgets (he refused to think of them by the same word he'd use for Dum-E). "Hi, Cap! Having a little Hammeroid problem? "
"Everything's a joke with you," the Captain replied without breaking stride, flinging his frisbee and catching it with seemingly effortless grace. JARVIS had analyzed the shield as best he could without actually having possession of the thing, and Tony knew it had a hell of a kick. Cap was one tough cookie. A cookie with a really great ass.
"Anything to do with Hammer is a joke," Tony replied as he repulsored several of Hammer's repulsive creations.
"I want you at my side," the Captain said.
Tony obeyed automatically, and then was a little annoyed at himself even as he backed into position beside the All-American Criminal. "What, you don't trust me out of your sight?"
Without glancing away from the droids, the Captain picked his shield out of the air. "You were looking at my ass."
"I was... I was watching your flank!" Tony protested. There weren't many droids left, which seemed a pity. "Wait. How did you know..."
The Captain huffed a short laugh. "You just told me." He smashed the final pair of bots, and then saluted Tony. He was grinning. "We'll have to do this again, sometime."
"Hey! Don't go, Cap!"
The Captain turned back to face Tony. His smile had faded, and his eyes were wary. "Think you can stop me from going, Iron Man?"
Tony flipped up his faceplate to smirk at Cap. "I think I can make you come, Captain."
The Captain rolled his eyes, but his muscles relaxed. "That is a terrible pick up line, Tony."
"It's only terrible if it didn't work. Look, I've got an enormous..." Tony paused. "Not what you're thinking. An enormous flying base. I rattle around in it." He tried putting on a pitiful expression. "It's lonely at the top."
The Captain really laughed this time. "I'm busy."
"I know, I know, you have an agenda, asses to kick, SHIELD storehouses to sabotage, and I'm on board for that."
"There's no money in it," the Captain said.
"I have some robots... real robots... to test. This'll be good practice for them. C'mon," Tony wheedled. "We can discuss it over coffee. My treat. I'll even buy you a bagel."
"You think I can be bought with a bagel?" the Captain was actually teasing him.
Tony dared to fling an arm around Cap's shoulders. "You can have all the toppings you want."
"You're incorrigible." Cap put his arm around Tony's waist.
"Hello, have you met me? I'm Tony Stark." He let his faceplate seal in place with a clunk. "Ready?"
"Ready? For... Tony, no!" Cap said, but when Tony fired his jet boots, Cap hung on and laughed.
This could be the start of something, Tony thought. He wondered if Cap was a blond. He liked blonds.