Fic: For Steve (And requesting help identifying a scan)

[hockeyiris.livejournal.com]

Title: For Steve
Author: Iris
Rating: PG
Word count: 365
Characters: Tony Stark
Timeline: Post Civil War.
Summary: Tony contemplates.
Disclaimer: None of this would have happened if I had any say in things. Not mine. No profit. You know the drill.
Archive: Sure, if you want.

Notes: I'm new to pretty much all of this. Got a bit obsessive after seeing the movie. I've read a LOT here, then because of a challenge, decided to write something. I'm not completely up to speed on everything and I don't know much about the older stuff, but I tried.

I'm also asking a favor of you all. I found a scan. I know it has to be post Civil War, but I cannot, for anything, find where it belongs. I was hoping someone might be able to tell me?
Scan is here and I'd really appreciate the help.

Anyway, thanks in advance. On to the ficlet.


It was never supposed to end like this.

Tony knew he had said that a dozen times, maybe more, but he still stood firm on that. It never should have happened. Steve should still be alive. Steve should still be by his side. ON his side. They hadn't understood, hadn't even tried to understand. And now Steve was gone.

Tony stared at the unopened bottle of scotch in front of him, watching the way the light shone through the liquid inside. Steve would have admired the artistic value.

Steve never would have let him buy the bottle in the first place. Steve would have yelled at him if he saw it.

Steve was dead.

Tony still let the feeds of that day replay in his mind, forever downloaded into a server, thanks to Extremis. Just one of many things added to the never-ending playlist of his failures. It never should have gotten that far, that out of control.

Steve had always had his back. Tony had always had Steve's. Then one time they didn't talk, one time they didn't listen, and it turned into a war. A pointless bloody mess that had solved nothing and destroyed everything.

Steve should still be alive. Tony wanted to be the one dead. Tony would give everything to be the one in the grave. Not in Arlington, never. But Steve didn't belong there, not yet.
Tony just wanted Steve back. Whatever the costs, whatever the sacrifice, he would do it, he would make it. He had taken that attitude into the Registration Act, why couldn't he take that attitude and get Steve back?

He knew he didn't deserve it, to have Steve back, to be happy. It was why he would so gladly give himself in return, if only that were possible.

He reached for the bottle, ready to throw away years of sobriety, ready to dive headfirst into the haze of alcohol and depression, but something stopped him.

Steve would be so disappointed in him. Steve had always trusted him. He took the bottle and walked to the trash, dropping it into the bin. He wouldn't. He couldn't. He had to be strong.

"For you, Steve," he whispered.

Comments

[bradygirl_12]

Very good take on Tony's despair after Steve's death.

[hockeyiris.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm working on an icon based on some of Tony's comments after it, but he's getting upset at me and I keep having to stop.

[axolotl-lan.livejournal.com]

Avengers Invaders a 12 issue series with WW2 Invaders (Cap, Bucky, Toro, Namor etc...) are in hte present believing Tony and them are Nazi's trying to pull a fast one on em.

annnd Nice work!

[hockeyiris.livejournal.com]

If I'd read my comics instead of buying them and putting them in a long box "to read later" I would have known that, huh?

Now I just need to find a web version for it so I can make graphics.

Thanks for solving the mystery.

And thanks again for the feedback. :)

[sdroid.livejournal.com]

Great work. Very touching, very good insight into Tony's grieving.

And yes, as axolotl_lan beat me to, it's from Avengers/Invaders #1

...I've been meaning to post a few most scans from that, while I'm on the subject...

[hockeyiris.livejournal.com]

Thank you! It was something quick I slammed out while I was at work and I thought I'd get over my nervousness, since I needed to ask a question, and offer something while I asked for something.

Your icon is painfully beautiful.

[sdroid.livejournal.com]

<3 I know how it goes. I feel a need to post icons whenever I ask something myself XD

And thanks -- I know it's cheesey, but I can't help but think it whenever I read...anything post CW really

[hockeyiris.livejournal.com]

I feel like it's cheating if I just go "Hey, help me!" and don't share the Tony/Steve love first.

But it's true, in our little world. And quite a bit of not-so-subtle canon material. I finally read my Avengers/Invaders and DAMN. Tony can't catch a break.

The icon I'm wanting to do is animated, with a bunch of Tony's words after Steve's death, like from Fallen Son and things. It's just taking forever to come together.

[runenklinge.livejournal.com]

wow, great
I like how Tony who has so many reasons to give up still goes on, because of Steve

[hockeyiris.livejournal.com]

Thank you.
Yeah, Tony really does just want to stop, but he has to keep going because Steve would expect it of him.