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cap_ironman2008-11-15 08:51 pm
kijikun.livejournal.com) wrote in cap_ironman2008-11-15 08:51 pm
Entry tags:
All That Remains (13/?) (PG-13)
Title: All That Remains (13/?)
Previous Parts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6,Part 7,Part 8 Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kijikun
Betas:adafrog, pandanoai
Rating: PG-13 (NC-17 overall)
Pairing: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Jan/Hank
Warnings: Spoilers through "Fallen Son", references to an institutionalized childhood
Author's Notes: Marvel Time is always kind of flexible, so we're setting this somewhere in the first half of 2008. Secret Invasion does not exist in our universe. Nope, never happened. As always, con-crit welcome. Posting tonight since I'll be out tomorrow night.
FAN ART ALERT! Check out the wonderful fan art byjohanirae of Tony and Maria cuddling on the couch. And by ethnos44 of Maria and Steve in Chapter 11. Thanks to both of them for the lovely art. ^_^
Maria had been hesitant to leave Tony's side once they were in the floating city called Asgard. Tony had assured her that he'd be fine and that there were matters he needed to speak privately about with Thor. A tall blonde woman named Kelda had offered to show her around the city, and both Tony and Thor had seemed –grateful-- Maria guessed was the right word.
Kelda was -- well her skin seemed to shimmer in the sun, and Maria had to keep herself from staring.
She didn't like leaving Tony's side; he might need her protection again. Tony might say Thor hadn't planned to strike but she'd seen the hammer raised. It had made her -- she couldn't explain it and didn't know the words. She'd seen the lightening and heard a booming voice. She'd seen Tony fall, and her chest had felt tight and her legs hadn't seemed to move fast enough. She'd felt --
Fear.
She'd been afraid for Tony.
Her actions had been foolish and she'd disobeyed a direct order. And maybe even worse than that, she had cried. She’d cried out in the open where anyone could see. Crying got you isolation or worse. It was a sign of weakness and one of the worst tells she could give. Tony never seemed to care about tells, and he'd never given her isolation or any sort of serious punishment, but disobeying an order and crying would have to receive some comment.
Or at least she'd thought that when beyond all expectations the god seemed to back down -- they'd been told in the Complex that some would balk at striking children and to use that to their advantage – Tony, instead of yelling at her, had done the hugging thing.
Maria peered over the edge of one of the walls and tried to estimate the distance to the ground. She swung up onto the ledge and got to her feet, walking along the edge. Kelda didn't object though Maria was aware of her gaze.
After going a little ways she sat, dangling her legs over the edge. Heights had never bothered her, and she was sure enough of her balance not to fear even such a distance as this one.
The situation didn't make sense, no matter how she looked at it. Tony claimed the man -- or god she suspected was more appropriate to call him -- had been a friend and she'd seen the picture hanging in the penthouse.
It was one of Steve's drawings, and she could remember Steve naming each person in the picture for her. He'd spoken of Thor in the past tense and mentioned his passing, but Thor seemed very much alive to her.
"And that doesn't make sense at all. When you die, you stay dead," Maria whispered to a raven that had come to rest near her. It cocked its head to the side as if considering her words.
"Sometimes things do not work in the ways we think they will."
Maria blinked then realized the raven hadn't spoken to her. She titled her head and realized Kelda was sitting on her other side. "I don't understand." She wanted to though.
Not just to make sense of Thor but of Steve as well.
Kelda smiled. "I thought once that I had come to the end of all things. Yet here we sit."
Maria frowned, that made even less sense. What was the end of all things supposed to mean? "But when you die, you're supposed to stay dead. Before I left the Complex no one ever came back from the dead. You weren't supposed to." Maria couldn't have been the only one of the oth -- of her sisters to sometimes wish for it. No more tests, no more lessons. Death was supposed to be quiet, to be rest. Wasn't it?
"Do you know of those that have died but come back?" Kelda asked.
She nodded after a moment. "Steve and Thor."
"So then some do escape death." Kelda gestured to the city as if to include it and all its inhabitants in her words. "Rules can be re-written and broken child, do not cling to them for all your answers."
Maria looked away from Kelda's gaze and back to the raven that was looking at her quizzically. "Then how do you know what to follow?"
"By looking within." Kelda's touch was light on her shoulder.
Looking within, what? It made even less sense, or maybe more sense -- Maria really couldn't tell at the moment -- then everything else had. She wished she could talk to Franklin. He'd find the logic in all of this. She even suspected the raven would be more understandable if it could talk, but ravens weren't capable of speech.
"Come. There is much more to see and several that knew your father that would like to meet you."
The raven flew away and Maria climbed off the wall. "Tony isn't my father, Lady Kelda," she explained.
"I know."
***
Tony sat looking at Thor's back wondering if his former friend even heard him. "It would put Asgard and anyone who lives here outside the Jurisdiction of the registration act, and give you diplomatic immunity." Tony finished explaining, hoping Thor would agree. "It would allow my superiors to not lose face, and that would be necessary to sell this. Would this work for you?"
The silence was heavy and long. Tony resisted pulling up access to one of the high-res imaging satellites to locate Maria in Asgard. Thor had given his word on her safety and Tony believed it. It didn't mean he liked having her so far from him when she still must be so confused and shaken. She'd put on a strong front and seemed to accept Thor's promises of safety for them both, but she'd clung to his hand, reluctant to leave his side.
And Tony had never seen her cry before.
"It will suffice."
Tony nodded, half surprised it could be as easy as that. He almost laughed at himself. Easy. All it had taken was facing the wrath of a god and scaring Maria half to death. "I would have preferred to leave you be," he said after a moment’s consideration, "but my hand was forced."
Thor's head turned slightly towards him.
"I don't expect you or anyone one else to understand why I've done all this, but if we had all fought against registration things would be so much worse. I'd rather have former friends hate me and still be alive then…" Tony wasn't sure why he was telling Thor any of this… maybe because Thor deserved an explanation. "What was done to you - it is unforgivable, but we had to use someone. You were dead and if not you, they would have made us use someone. Reed wanted to protect his family and I - I'd already sold out all my principles so what was the rest of my soul?"
Tony looked at his hands for a moment. "And part of me hoped if we could bring back your body…" he trailed off.
"That my essence would return as well." Thor finished.
Tony didn't look up but nodded. It sounded foolish when put into words, but things had been so dark in those days that any bit of hope was something to cling to. And that was before he'd known just how bad things could get, when he'd been forced to take the loss of the one person he wasn't prepared to loose, Steve. "I've done so many things for which I can never be forgiven."
Just because Steve was alive didn't make the agony of those long days before and after his 'death' any easier to cope with. It didn't make his failure to be able to protect Steve any more forgivable.
"I am not sure if you can be forgiven for your violation of my person and a friendship I once highly valued," Thor said. "But I think it is a discussion that we should have another time."
Tony got to his feet because that was a dismissal if he'd ever heard one. "I'll collect Maria and go."
Thor turned around completely and shook his head. "Stay and take supper with us." Thor smiled slightly. "Kelda is still showing Maria about the city, and it would not do to interfere with their enjoyment. Mortals have fascinated Kelda of late. I suspect she is enjoying talking with the girl."
"Maria isn't exactly a normal mortal child." Tony managed to chuckle. Maria would never be anything close to normal, but as long as she was happy, Tony didn't care. Still, it wouldn't do for a goddess to think Maria was the norm when it came to children's behavior.
"Be that as it may," Thor told him. There was a trace of true amusement on Thor's face. "In addition, there is something I do wish to speak to you about."
Tony kept his face expressionless. "About?"
"How you came into possession of that child."
***
"Tony is an idiot sometimes," Carol declared.
Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. She'd been grumbling about Tony since she'd gotten a hold of him and chewed him out. Steve had to admit he was impressed by her ability to give someone a dressing down over the phone. Hell Nick Fury would have been proud.
Still it was starting to grate on his already frayed nerves. Granted, he could breathe a lot easier knowing that Tony and Maria were safe. Plus it was reassuring that Hank's tests had proved he was who he he said he was. He could have kissed Hank if he hadn't thought it might give the man a complex. Hank really didn't need anyone adding to his issues. So instead he'd thanked him, and returned to the penthouse to wait for Tony to return.
Only Carol had followed, intent on talking to him, and was currently pacing and muttering about Tony.
The problem was that Steve wasn't sure he wanted to hear how Tony had been before Maria, which Steve was learning was code among Tony's friends for 'after Steve had died'. Steve didn't want to know if Tony had cried at his funeral or what he'd said. He didn't want to know if Tony had started drinking again.
He wanted to deal with processing that yes he was Steven Rogers, son of Sarah and Joseph Rogers. That he could trust himself. It didn't make it easier in trying to separate the person of Steve from that of Captain America, but it did allow him to trust his memories. He still had a lot to think about; a lot to decide, and maybe he needed to work through it while Tony and Maria were gone.
It was so much easier to distract himself with arguing with Tony, with touching Tony, then dwelling on whether he wanted the shield again. And if he wanted the shield, was it because Captain America wanted his shield returned or because Steve Rogers wanted to continue being Captain America, and whether the two things were actually one in the same.
Maria, and everything he knew Tony wasn't saying, was an easy escape too. So much easier to try and figure out how her mind worked than to figure out his own. And why think about how he survived his wounds and being thrown into the Hudson when he could wonder about why Tony never elaborated on the weapon program Maria came from.
Steve had met X-23 so it was easy to wonder whose genetics made up Maria. He rubbed his hand over his face and then it hit him.
Tony had taken Maria with him to meet Thor. Carol had been worried, visibly so. It couldn't have been over Maria's safety because Thor would never harm a child and he wouldn't just attack Tony. Carol seemed to think Maria had brought some positive change in Tony --
He could be wrong though, and he owed it to Tony to ask him directly. And if Tony didn't return with Maria, Steve wanted to think about that less then he wanted to think about how his 'death' affected Tony.
"Carol do we have to do this tonight?" Steve asked.
Carol hesitated. "Steve," she sighed and sat down on the couch. "Yes, yes we do have to do this tonight. I might not get another chance to talk to you like this."
Steve repressed a sigh. "Fine."
"Don't sound so petulant," Carol told him. "I wouldn't be telling you if I didn’t think it was important. You need to know how...I thought we were going to lose him, Steve. Every time he went up against a doom bot or whatever villain of the week we seemed to face he'd…" she stopped for a moment, collecting her thoughts. "He didn't hold back. He'd throw himself at whatever it was with everything he had without seeming to have one single thought of his own welfare."
"Carol, he's always been like that," Steve protested. At least Tony had almost seemed like that to him. How many times had they'd fought over Tony putting Steve's life over his own?
She shook her head. "Not like this. He wanted to die. I really think he did. If I hadn't known him so long I might not have seen it but…drinking would have been easier to deal with. And I feel horrible for even thinking that let alone saying it out loud. He wasn't sleeping and I'm pretty sure he wasn't eating as much as he should have been." She stared at a picture of the original Avengers on the wall. "I tried to help him, but he's never been able to talk to me like he did with Pepper or you."
Steve remembered how tired and worn Tony had looked when he'd first arrived at the penthouse and shuddered. "He was trying to do everything."
Carol nodded. "And with Extremis he could. He had to take care of everything himself, and let those bastards in Washington drag him down further. There were days I wasn't sure if it'd be death by super-villain, or if he'd just disconnect his mind from his body altogether."
"And no one did anything?" Steve demanded, horrified that no one tried to talk to Tony. That no one had forced him to eat, to sleep, to take a break.
"You know what Tony can be like and…" Carol looked over at Steve. "Tony doesn't have many friends left these days, Steve. A lot of people hate him because of you."
"Because of me? Why?" Steve couldn't accept that. Why would people hate Tony for Steve's sake, when Steve himself had never hated Tony?
Carol’s eyes darted away. "There are people that blame him for your death in general, and some that think he directly set it up."
Steve got to his feet pacing. "Tony would never do that. How could people think that? Surely, those like Spider-Man and the other Secret Avengers don't believe that garbage?"
"I don't know. It's not like Jessica Drew sends me email updates," Carol snapped. "Sorry, you didn't deserve that. Steve, you just have to understand that even people that have registered hate Tony. He didn't have a lot of people left to notice he was… as bad as he was. Plus Tony is good at hiding things… you know that."
Steve did know that. How long had Tony been killing himself with the bottle before Steve noticed? "I wouldn't have wanted people to hate him for my sake."
"I know." Carol sighed. "If it helps, things have gotten better. Taking in Maria has softened many people to him. She's been good for him."
"He didn't take her in as a PR stunt," Steve growled.
Carol rolled her eyes. "I wasn't saying he did. She gave him something to survive for Steve, and he needed that." She got to her feet and stopped his pacing with a hand on his arm. "Has he told you why he took her in?" she asked, once he finally looked at her.
"To protect her," Steve said wondering why Carol was asking. Carol knew after all didn't she? "Tony said she was part of a weapons project."
She sighed and patted his arm. "Yeah, that's pretty much what he told me." She looked like she wanted to say more before she shook her head. "I should go. Simon will be waiting for me."
"How is Simon?" Steve asked, trying to remember if he and Carol had been together before the fighting had started.
Carol smiled. "He's good." She blushed a little but kept smiling. "By the way, congratulations on being you."
Steve laughed. "Thanks, I think."
After Carol left, Steve retreated to the gym. He was glad Tony wasn't going to be home for a while; he needed to think before he saw the other man.
***
Jan had pried most of what happened in the lab from Hank as they settled into bed.
Hank would be the first to admit that perhaps they'd moved too fast by moving back into together so soon. Still, he'd missed his wife. He'd missed Jan's presence in his life despite the fact he knew he didn't deserve her. Hank knew he was still a mess and even on medication would never be completely -- okay. He should let Jan have a chance to find someone that would never under any circumstance hit her or go psychotic.
He wouldn't though. He loved her too much to turn down another chance with her.
"Never mind that I want to know why Carol got to know Thor was back before we did -- its not like we've known him longer or were friends for years -- but what did Carol think Thor would do?" Jan snorted. "I can't see him actually trying to hurt Tony and he'd never hurt a child."
"Thor does have some very strong reasons to be angry with Tony, Jan," Hank pointed out, reaching out to stroke Jan's shoulder. He needed to touch her sometimes, as if to assure himself she was there. He couldn’t explain it and he was sure it grated her but he just needed that tactical connection.
Jan leaned into the touch. "Tony loves that little girl, he'd never put her into jeopardy."
Hank nodded in agreement. "Not consciously, but with Steve back he might not be thinking clearly. At least Carol could think that." He hurried to add.
"But this is Thor we're talking about, not Doctor Doom. Thor has always been one of the good guys," Jan sighed.
"People change, Jan," Hank said softly.
"Maybe. But it worked out fine. Tony is fine and so is Maria." Jan wrapped an arm around him and rested her head on his shoulder. "How did the lab work go?"
Hank smiled slightly as she changed the subject. "The man currently calling himself Steve Rogers, is in fact Steve Rogers. Tony didn't need me to tell him that though, he'd already made up his mind."
"A lot of us had. Tony believed it so firmly, I had to believe it." Jan agreed. "You know how Tony has always been over Steve."
Hank hesitated debating whether to ask before deciding to go ahead with it. "Jan, has Tony told you who Maria's genetic donor was?"
Jan shook her head. "No, I just assumed, well I mean it seems obvious doesn't it? How many people would Tony take in the female clone of like he did?"
"Technically Maria isn't a female clone." Hank couldn't stop himself from correcting. "A clone is an exact copy of the person's DNA. If the original is male and the 'copy' female, that the copy while created from the exact same DNA, cannot be properly called a clone. Maria is --"
Jan laughed. "I think I get it."
Hank flushed slightly. "Sorry."
"Don't be, you're cute when you get carried away talking about science," Jan told him. She tapped his nose then kissed him as she climbed into his lap.
Hank knew he was being distracted but he really couldn't bring himself to care. Conversations about Tony Stark could wait.
***
Maria had never seen so many stars before in her life. Standing in one of the quiet courtyards of Asgard, she sat crossed legged on the ground gazing upwards. She was sure you couldn't see the stars like this from the Penthouse in New York, and at the Complex you never saw the sky.
She suddenly wished one of her sisters could be with her. She must have been close to one or two of them, right? It seemed to be how things worked.
Franklin had Val. Kelda seemed to have many brothers and sisters. Even the raven seemed to have brother or sister raven. So, the other girls that wore her face must be her sisters. She missed them after all. She wished they could see this sky with her.
Maybe some of them were some place where they couldsee the sky. She hoped so.
The feast she and Tony had attended at been different, but good. There were so many people -- gods, she supposed -- and she didn't see another child among them.
Maria had been fussed over by several golden haired women along with Kelda at dinner. In fact, she'd been the interest of quite a few people all day, which really didn't make much sense, but Maria was starting to accept that some places made no sense at all, and that Tony was right - she would get a headache if she thought about it too hard.
She did wish she knew whom they kept talking about when they spoke of her father. It certainly wasn't Tony and she'd given up trying to explain that she didn't have a father and that she and her sisters had been created probably from a random DNA sample. After she had tried that explanation it had lead to laughter.
All the attention at dinner had become too much and she'd slipped away. Tony had been deep in a conversation with Thor, so she didn't think he would notice or mind.
"I thought you might have escaped out here."
Maria turned her head and saw Thor standing close behind her. She scrambled to her feet. "I'm sorry, was I not allowed to leave?"
Thor smiled and Maria oddly felt at ease. "You're fine, child. Even gods have an end to their tolerance of being fussed over."
"Everyone is very nice," Maria said softly. "I just don't understand why they are all interested in me."
Thor regarded her carefully, and Maria tried not to fidget under his gaze. "You really do not know, do you?" Finally, Thor moved, kneeling down in front of her, taking the hammer from his back.
Maria held her ground, not looking away from Thor's gaze. "I protect Tony. I'm nothing important. He is."
"Would you do something for me, Maria?" Thor asked sitting the hammer in front of her. "Pick that up for me."
She hesitated for a moment, before reaching out and wrapping both her hands around the handle of the hammer. Maria wasn't sure she'd be able to lift it, but she tried anyways. To her surprise, it lifted easily.
"I think it's time for us to go."
Maria looked up and saw Tony walking across the courtyard. Thor took the hammer from her and slid it back into place.
Tony took Maria's hand and nodded to Thor. "Find out what you wanted to know?"
"I'm satisfied that you were speaking the truth," Thor responded. "We will talk again on other things."
Tony titled his head slightly. "I hope you can count me as a friend again one day."
"We will see."
Maria was confused but kept a hold of Tony's hand. She didn't understand what had just happened, or why the hammer seemed so important.
"Can we go home now?" she asked Tony.
***
Maria had fallen asleep on the plane ride back to New York and Tony had let her sleep. He had too many phone calls to return and too many emails. One voice mail from J. Jonah Jameson wanting to do an article of Maria he had ignored for the time being.
Maria woke up somewhat for the car ride to the penthouse but Tony had wound up carrying from the car to the penthouse despite her sleepy protests and mumbling something about ravens. By the time, they'd reached the penthouse she'd fallen back asleep.
Steve had been waiting for him in the living room and had nodded when Tony put a finger to his lips. Tony carried her into her bedroom, laying her down on her bed.
"Need some help?" Steve whispered, joining Tony.
Maria shifted slightly but stayed asleep.
"Could you get her nightshirt?" Tony whispered back as he took her shoes off.
Together they managed to change Maria into her nightgown without waking her up completely. She'd opened her eyes once, but drifted quickly back when her sleep filled eyes took in that Steve and Tony were there.
Tony tucked her in and kissed her forehead. He watched as Steve affectionately brushed her hair back from her face. Tony wanted to stand watching over her for a while longer, but Steve took his hand and tugged him from the room.
"Tony, we need to talk," Steve said quietly.
He closed his eyes and resisted the urge to rub his forehead. It never helped.
Steve hesitated, then wrapped his hand around the back of Tony's neck and stroked his thumb over Tony's skin. "I do have something that I want to tell you first. All of Hank's tests have been conclusive so far. I'm Steve Rogers. I'm who I think I am."
Tony managed a real smile for Steve. He didn't need to know that Hank had called Tony a few hours ago, and it only confirmed what Tony already believed. "I didn't need tests to tell me that, Steve." He rested his forehead against the other man’s. "But you’re right, we need to talk."
***
By unspoken agreement, they avoided the bedroom as a place to talk. Going into the bedroom would wind up with one of them pressed against a wall, not that Tony would object to that but sex wasn't going to solve anything.
Tony would have rather retreated to his personal lab but if they couldn't sit down and talk in the living room calmly and like the adults they pretended to be -- then there was nothing either of them could do to make this work.
"Do you want to go first?" Tony asked as they sat across from each other.
Steve looked at his hands. "I had a talk with Carol tonight."
Tony’s back stiffened and he had to keep himself from pulling up all the feeds from the penthouse from that evening. He would let Steve tell him at his own pace. "About?" It would be so easy to connect himself to Carol's line and ask her himself but she'd probably just yell at him again. He couldn't keep Steve all to himself. The man had every right to talk to anyone he wished without Tony needing to know the details.
"You," Steve said then smiled slightly. "I think she wanted to warn me about what I was getting myself into. She said you were in a bad way after I -- after you thought I died."
"I was fine. Carol worries too much," Tony protested. He had been fine, at least outwardly. He'd worked so hard at making sure no one knew he was falling apart. "I survived didn't I?" Tony asked.
Steve frowned and folded his arms over his chest. "Tony…"
Tony had to look away from Steve's gaze. "You were dead. I loved you and you were dead. It was my fault, and you were dead. How was I supposed to be?"
"Not trying to die," Steve said softly, reaching across to touch Tony's knee.
"I wasn't." Tony denied, covering Steve's hand with his own. He hadn't been trying to die; he'd just known what the value of his life was in comparison to so many others. And who would have missed Tony Stark? "I'm not suicidal. Despite what Carol might think after today." Tony smiled as if it were a joke.
Steve didn't smile back. "Why did you take Maria with you today?"
Tony felt a surge of guilt. "Because I'm an idiot." He pulled his hand from Steve's and rubbed his hand over his face. "I should have left her here safe with you. She could have been killed because I was a selfish coward."
"I thought you told Carol nothing happened? What happened? She looked unharmed --" Steve sounded like he wanted to be yelling.
Tony could read it in Steve's body language, the fear that something could have happened to Maria and forced himself to acknowledge that Steve might care about Maria just as much as he did.
"She is unharmed, but it could have been a near thing," Tony admitted. He closed his eyes. "I know Thor wouldn't have struck her, or me, but she didn't know that."
"Why would Maria even think Thor would strike either of you?" Steve asked.
Tony almost smiled at the disbelief in Steve's voice. Of course, no one would ever think Thor would do such a thing, or anything 'bad' in fact. Tony was sure even Steve would think the worst if the positions were reversed.
"Thor wasn't pleased to see me. He was pissed actually and I can't really blame him." There was an email from one of Rutgers' lackeys wanting to know further details about the new status of Asgard sitting in his inbox. He was getting the impression that they weren't happy about how Tony had handled it, but Tony really didn't care. "Maria must have thought Thor was going to attack me instead of just remind me that ticking off a god is a bad idea. She got between us. Nothing happened, she was fine but upset, but I never should have had her there with me."
Steve was quiet for what felt like hours. "Did Thor calm down after Maria intervened?"
"I think her bravery at thinking she could take on a god to 'protect' me appealed to the warrior side of him. The rest of the meeting went fine. We managed to come to an agreement that doesn't involve anyone in Asgard to register." Tony sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I wish I could do that for everyone."
"I think you need to talk to her about this idea that she has to protect you. It might give her a sense of purpose but it isn't healthy." Steve had shifted closer to Tony. Close enough to rest his hand on Tony's back and rub circles.
Tony closed his eyes again, using the cameras to check on Maria. She was curled into her cocoon of blankets, seemingly fast asleep. "Is this the part of the conversation where you tell me about Maria's meltdown?"
Steve's hand stopped. "That's why you took her with you, isn't it? You don't trust me with her."
"I was angry, Steve. She's my responsibility and you hid this from me." Tony refused to look at Steve. "I shouldn't have had to find out from Jarvis and cameras. And while we're on the subject? Never, ever refer to her as solider again." The last part came out harsher than Tony had meant it.
The hand didn't leave his back but Tony felt it tense. "It worked, Tony. You might not like it but sometimes you might have to use her background like that. She was having a meltdown. Letting her scream and work herself up more wasn't going to help her." Steve said firmly. "Maybe if you had been there you could have handled it differently. But she was hysterical even after I got her to stop yelling. She thought you'd grown tired of her and were going to replace her, that there'd been other girls before her -- and so help me Tony don't ever let me near whoever did this to her because I will not be responsible for my actions."
"You'd have to get in line. They're mine first." Tony told him without a trace of humor. "Why didn't you tell me this? It should have been the first thing you told me when I got back. You should have called me. You can't hide things from me because you don't think I can handle them!"
"I promised her," Steve said softly. "She didn't want you to be angry or disappointed in her. It was the only way I could get her to come out."
Tony’s anger left in a rush leaving him feeling deflated and petty. "Oh."
Steve's finger hesitated then started making circles on his back again, working their way under his shirt. "I should have told you. I'm sorry."
Tony shook his head. "Don't be. You were keeping your promise."
"I think if this is going to work we're going to need to talk to each other more," Steve said, his fingers following Tony's spine.
How could they make anything work when Steve hadn't made a decision? Tony was used to things not working for him, was used to never getting what he wanted -- what he needed. He'd known even before the war that things with Steve would end one way or another because the good things never lasted for him. But Maria was starting to see Steve as something permanent, something that belonged in their lives. She didn't deserve to be hurt because of Tony's fucked up relationship track record.
And what if she wanted Steve more than him?
Tony forced himself to nod. "I want this to work."
Steve cupped a hand around the back of Tony's neck and drew him in for a tender kiss. Tony happily gave into it, exhaustion seeping into his limbs. "Tony what would you have done if I wasn't -- me?"
Gone crazy, Tony thought. "It couldn't have been anyone but you."
Maybe something had shown in Tony's eyes because Steve kissed him fiercely and possessively. "It could have been a double switch or a trick in the morgue. I still could have been someone else," Steve said when they broke the kiss.
Tony shook his hand and brought Steve's fingers to his lips. "I doubt even a Skrull could duplicate the way you draw or how calluses form on your fingers."
Steve flushed and his eyes were warm. "You knew it was me by my hands?"
"And everything else that makes you Steve Rogers." Tony got to his feet and pulled Steve along with him. "Someone with your face could have shown up in the uniform and fooled people into thinking he was Captain America, but he could never fool anyone that knew Steve Rogers."
With a soft growl, Steve captured Tony's mouth and walked them backwards to the bedroom.
Later, lying in tangled sheets with his head resting against Steve's damp chest, Tony reviewed his email and voice mail for anything that had to be dealt with that night. Steve was petting his hair in a way that was making it very hard to think, but part of the benefits and problems with Extremis was that he could check almost anything at anytime.
"Stop thinking," Steve ordered him, good humouredly.
Tony arched his head back into Steve's petting like a cat. "Just checking some things." He came across Jameson's voice mail again and sighed loudly. "I can't believe Jameson would think I'd give him access to Maria -- wait that just might work."
"What?" Steve asked, stroking Tony's ear lobe.
"I think I have a way to help Peter."
Next 
Previous Parts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6,Part 7,Part 8 Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12
Author:
kijikun Betas:
adafrog, pandanoaiRating: PG-13 (NC-17 overall)
Pairing: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Jan/Hank
Warnings: Spoilers through "Fallen Son", references to an institutionalized childhood
Author's Notes: Marvel Time is always kind of flexible, so we're setting this somewhere in the first half of 2008. Secret Invasion does not exist in our universe. Nope, never happened. As always, con-crit welcome. Posting tonight since I'll be out tomorrow night.
FAN ART ALERT! Check out the wonderful fan art by
johanirae of Tony and Maria cuddling on the couch. And by ethnos44 of Maria and Steve in Chapter 11. Thanks to both of them for the lovely art. ^_^Maria had been hesitant to leave Tony's side once they were in the floating city called Asgard. Tony had assured her that he'd be fine and that there were matters he needed to speak privately about with Thor. A tall blonde woman named Kelda had offered to show her around the city, and both Tony and Thor had seemed –grateful-- Maria guessed was the right word.
Kelda was -- well her skin seemed to shimmer in the sun, and Maria had to keep herself from staring.
She didn't like leaving Tony's side; he might need her protection again. Tony might say Thor hadn't planned to strike but she'd seen the hammer raised. It had made her -- she couldn't explain it and didn't know the words. She'd seen the lightening and heard a booming voice. She'd seen Tony fall, and her chest had felt tight and her legs hadn't seemed to move fast enough. She'd felt --
Fear.
She'd been afraid for Tony.
Her actions had been foolish and she'd disobeyed a direct order. And maybe even worse than that, she had cried. She’d cried out in the open where anyone could see. Crying got you isolation or worse. It was a sign of weakness and one of the worst tells she could give. Tony never seemed to care about tells, and he'd never given her isolation or any sort of serious punishment, but disobeying an order and crying would have to receive some comment.
Or at least she'd thought that when beyond all expectations the god seemed to back down -- they'd been told in the Complex that some would balk at striking children and to use that to their advantage – Tony, instead of yelling at her, had done the hugging thing.
Maria peered over the edge of one of the walls and tried to estimate the distance to the ground. She swung up onto the ledge and got to her feet, walking along the edge. Kelda didn't object though Maria was aware of her gaze.
After going a little ways she sat, dangling her legs over the edge. Heights had never bothered her, and she was sure enough of her balance not to fear even such a distance as this one.
The situation didn't make sense, no matter how she looked at it. Tony claimed the man -- or god she suspected was more appropriate to call him -- had been a friend and she'd seen the picture hanging in the penthouse.
It was one of Steve's drawings, and she could remember Steve naming each person in the picture for her. He'd spoken of Thor in the past tense and mentioned his passing, but Thor seemed very much alive to her.
"And that doesn't make sense at all. When you die, you stay dead," Maria whispered to a raven that had come to rest near her. It cocked its head to the side as if considering her words.
"Sometimes things do not work in the ways we think they will."
Maria blinked then realized the raven hadn't spoken to her. She titled her head and realized Kelda was sitting on her other side. "I don't understand." She wanted to though.
Not just to make sense of Thor but of Steve as well.
Kelda smiled. "I thought once that I had come to the end of all things. Yet here we sit."
Maria frowned, that made even less sense. What was the end of all things supposed to mean? "But when you die, you're supposed to stay dead. Before I left the Complex no one ever came back from the dead. You weren't supposed to." Maria couldn't have been the only one of the oth -- of her sisters to sometimes wish for it. No more tests, no more lessons. Death was supposed to be quiet, to be rest. Wasn't it?
"Do you know of those that have died but come back?" Kelda asked.
She nodded after a moment. "Steve and Thor."
"So then some do escape death." Kelda gestured to the city as if to include it and all its inhabitants in her words. "Rules can be re-written and broken child, do not cling to them for all your answers."
Maria looked away from Kelda's gaze and back to the raven that was looking at her quizzically. "Then how do you know what to follow?"
"By looking within." Kelda's touch was light on her shoulder.
Looking within, what? It made even less sense, or maybe more sense -- Maria really couldn't tell at the moment -- then everything else had. She wished she could talk to Franklin. He'd find the logic in all of this. She even suspected the raven would be more understandable if it could talk, but ravens weren't capable of speech.
"Come. There is much more to see and several that knew your father that would like to meet you."
The raven flew away and Maria climbed off the wall. "Tony isn't my father, Lady Kelda," she explained.
"I know."
Tony sat looking at Thor's back wondering if his former friend even heard him. "It would put Asgard and anyone who lives here outside the Jurisdiction of the registration act, and give you diplomatic immunity." Tony finished explaining, hoping Thor would agree. "It would allow my superiors to not lose face, and that would be necessary to sell this. Would this work for you?"
The silence was heavy and long. Tony resisted pulling up access to one of the high-res imaging satellites to locate Maria in Asgard. Thor had given his word on her safety and Tony believed it. It didn't mean he liked having her so far from him when she still must be so confused and shaken. She'd put on a strong front and seemed to accept Thor's promises of safety for them both, but she'd clung to his hand, reluctant to leave his side.
And Tony had never seen her cry before.
"It will suffice."
Tony nodded, half surprised it could be as easy as that. He almost laughed at himself. Easy. All it had taken was facing the wrath of a god and scaring Maria half to death. "I would have preferred to leave you be," he said after a moment’s consideration, "but my hand was forced."
Thor's head turned slightly towards him.
"I don't expect you or anyone one else to understand why I've done all this, but if we had all fought against registration things would be so much worse. I'd rather have former friends hate me and still be alive then…" Tony wasn't sure why he was telling Thor any of this… maybe because Thor deserved an explanation. "What was done to you - it is unforgivable, but we had to use someone. You were dead and if not you, they would have made us use someone. Reed wanted to protect his family and I - I'd already sold out all my principles so what was the rest of my soul?"
Tony looked at his hands for a moment. "And part of me hoped if we could bring back your body…" he trailed off.
"That my essence would return as well." Thor finished.
Tony didn't look up but nodded. It sounded foolish when put into words, but things had been so dark in those days that any bit of hope was something to cling to. And that was before he'd known just how bad things could get, when he'd been forced to take the loss of the one person he wasn't prepared to loose, Steve. "I've done so many things for which I can never be forgiven."
Just because Steve was alive didn't make the agony of those long days before and after his 'death' any easier to cope with. It didn't make his failure to be able to protect Steve any more forgivable.
"I am not sure if you can be forgiven for your violation of my person and a friendship I once highly valued," Thor said. "But I think it is a discussion that we should have another time."
Tony got to his feet because that was a dismissal if he'd ever heard one. "I'll collect Maria and go."
Thor turned around completely and shook his head. "Stay and take supper with us." Thor smiled slightly. "Kelda is still showing Maria about the city, and it would not do to interfere with their enjoyment. Mortals have fascinated Kelda of late. I suspect she is enjoying talking with the girl."
"Maria isn't exactly a normal mortal child." Tony managed to chuckle. Maria would never be anything close to normal, but as long as she was happy, Tony didn't care. Still, it wouldn't do for a goddess to think Maria was the norm when it came to children's behavior.
"Be that as it may," Thor told him. There was a trace of true amusement on Thor's face. "In addition, there is something I do wish to speak to you about."
Tony kept his face expressionless. "About?"
"How you came into possession of that child."
"Tony is an idiot sometimes," Carol declared.
Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. She'd been grumbling about Tony since she'd gotten a hold of him and chewed him out. Steve had to admit he was impressed by her ability to give someone a dressing down over the phone. Hell Nick Fury would have been proud.
Still it was starting to grate on his already frayed nerves. Granted, he could breathe a lot easier knowing that Tony and Maria were safe. Plus it was reassuring that Hank's tests had proved he was who he he said he was. He could have kissed Hank if he hadn't thought it might give the man a complex. Hank really didn't need anyone adding to his issues. So instead he'd thanked him, and returned to the penthouse to wait for Tony to return.
Only Carol had followed, intent on talking to him, and was currently pacing and muttering about Tony.
The problem was that Steve wasn't sure he wanted to hear how Tony had been before Maria, which Steve was learning was code among Tony's friends for 'after Steve had died'. Steve didn't want to know if Tony had cried at his funeral or what he'd said. He didn't want to know if Tony had started drinking again.
He wanted to deal with processing that yes he was Steven Rogers, son of Sarah and Joseph Rogers. That he could trust himself. It didn't make it easier in trying to separate the person of Steve from that of Captain America, but it did allow him to trust his memories. He still had a lot to think about; a lot to decide, and maybe he needed to work through it while Tony and Maria were gone.
It was so much easier to distract himself with arguing with Tony, with touching Tony, then dwelling on whether he wanted the shield again. And if he wanted the shield, was it because Captain America wanted his shield returned or because Steve Rogers wanted to continue being Captain America, and whether the two things were actually one in the same.
Maria, and everything he knew Tony wasn't saying, was an easy escape too. So much easier to try and figure out how her mind worked than to figure out his own. And why think about how he survived his wounds and being thrown into the Hudson when he could wonder about why Tony never elaborated on the weapon program Maria came from.
Steve had met X-23 so it was easy to wonder whose genetics made up Maria. He rubbed his hand over his face and then it hit him.
Tony had taken Maria with him to meet Thor. Carol had been worried, visibly so. It couldn't have been over Maria's safety because Thor would never harm a child and he wouldn't just attack Tony. Carol seemed to think Maria had brought some positive change in Tony --
He could be wrong though, and he owed it to Tony to ask him directly. And if Tony didn't return with Maria, Steve wanted to think about that less then he wanted to think about how his 'death' affected Tony.
"Carol do we have to do this tonight?" Steve asked.
Carol hesitated. "Steve," she sighed and sat down on the couch. "Yes, yes we do have to do this tonight. I might not get another chance to talk to you like this."
Steve repressed a sigh. "Fine."
"Don't sound so petulant," Carol told him. "I wouldn't be telling you if I didn’t think it was important. You need to know how...I thought we were going to lose him, Steve. Every time he went up against a doom bot or whatever villain of the week we seemed to face he'd…" she stopped for a moment, collecting her thoughts. "He didn't hold back. He'd throw himself at whatever it was with everything he had without seeming to have one single thought of his own welfare."
"Carol, he's always been like that," Steve protested. At least Tony had almost seemed like that to him. How many times had they'd fought over Tony putting Steve's life over his own?
She shook her head. "Not like this. He wanted to die. I really think he did. If I hadn't known him so long I might not have seen it but…drinking would have been easier to deal with. And I feel horrible for even thinking that let alone saying it out loud. He wasn't sleeping and I'm pretty sure he wasn't eating as much as he should have been." She stared at a picture of the original Avengers on the wall. "I tried to help him, but he's never been able to talk to me like he did with Pepper or you."
Steve remembered how tired and worn Tony had looked when he'd first arrived at the penthouse and shuddered. "He was trying to do everything."
Carol nodded. "And with Extremis he could. He had to take care of everything himself, and let those bastards in Washington drag him down further. There were days I wasn't sure if it'd be death by super-villain, or if he'd just disconnect his mind from his body altogether."
"And no one did anything?" Steve demanded, horrified that no one tried to talk to Tony. That no one had forced him to eat, to sleep, to take a break.
"You know what Tony can be like and…" Carol looked over at Steve. "Tony doesn't have many friends left these days, Steve. A lot of people hate him because of you."
"Because of me? Why?" Steve couldn't accept that. Why would people hate Tony for Steve's sake, when Steve himself had never hated Tony?
Carol’s eyes darted away. "There are people that blame him for your death in general, and some that think he directly set it up."
Steve got to his feet pacing. "Tony would never do that. How could people think that? Surely, those like Spider-Man and the other Secret Avengers don't believe that garbage?"
"I don't know. It's not like Jessica Drew sends me email updates," Carol snapped. "Sorry, you didn't deserve that. Steve, you just have to understand that even people that have registered hate Tony. He didn't have a lot of people left to notice he was… as bad as he was. Plus Tony is good at hiding things… you know that."
Steve did know that. How long had Tony been killing himself with the bottle before Steve noticed? "I wouldn't have wanted people to hate him for my sake."
"I know." Carol sighed. "If it helps, things have gotten better. Taking in Maria has softened many people to him. She's been good for him."
"He didn't take her in as a PR stunt," Steve growled.
Carol rolled her eyes. "I wasn't saying he did. She gave him something to survive for Steve, and he needed that." She got to her feet and stopped his pacing with a hand on his arm. "Has he told you why he took her in?" she asked, once he finally looked at her.
"To protect her," Steve said wondering why Carol was asking. Carol knew after all didn't she? "Tony said she was part of a weapons project."
She sighed and patted his arm. "Yeah, that's pretty much what he told me." She looked like she wanted to say more before she shook her head. "I should go. Simon will be waiting for me."
"How is Simon?" Steve asked, trying to remember if he and Carol had been together before the fighting had started.
Carol smiled. "He's good." She blushed a little but kept smiling. "By the way, congratulations on being you."
Steve laughed. "Thanks, I think."
After Carol left, Steve retreated to the gym. He was glad Tony wasn't going to be home for a while; he needed to think before he saw the other man.
Jan had pried most of what happened in the lab from Hank as they settled into bed.
Hank would be the first to admit that perhaps they'd moved too fast by moving back into together so soon. Still, he'd missed his wife. He'd missed Jan's presence in his life despite the fact he knew he didn't deserve her. Hank knew he was still a mess and even on medication would never be completely -- okay. He should let Jan have a chance to find someone that would never under any circumstance hit her or go psychotic.
He wouldn't though. He loved her too much to turn down another chance with her.
"Never mind that I want to know why Carol got to know Thor was back before we did -- its not like we've known him longer or were friends for years -- but what did Carol think Thor would do?" Jan snorted. "I can't see him actually trying to hurt Tony and he'd never hurt a child."
"Thor does have some very strong reasons to be angry with Tony, Jan," Hank pointed out, reaching out to stroke Jan's shoulder. He needed to touch her sometimes, as if to assure himself she was there. He couldn’t explain it and he was sure it grated her but he just needed that tactical connection.
Jan leaned into the touch. "Tony loves that little girl, he'd never put her into jeopardy."
Hank nodded in agreement. "Not consciously, but with Steve back he might not be thinking clearly. At least Carol could think that." He hurried to add.
"But this is Thor we're talking about, not Doctor Doom. Thor has always been one of the good guys," Jan sighed.
"People change, Jan," Hank said softly.
"Maybe. But it worked out fine. Tony is fine and so is Maria." Jan wrapped an arm around him and rested her head on his shoulder. "How did the lab work go?"
Hank smiled slightly as she changed the subject. "The man currently calling himself Steve Rogers, is in fact Steve Rogers. Tony didn't need me to tell him that though, he'd already made up his mind."
"A lot of us had. Tony believed it so firmly, I had to believe it." Jan agreed. "You know how Tony has always been over Steve."
Hank hesitated debating whether to ask before deciding to go ahead with it. "Jan, has Tony told you who Maria's genetic donor was?"
Jan shook her head. "No, I just assumed, well I mean it seems obvious doesn't it? How many people would Tony take in the female clone of like he did?"
"Technically Maria isn't a female clone." Hank couldn't stop himself from correcting. "A clone is an exact copy of the person's DNA. If the original is male and the 'copy' female, that the copy while created from the exact same DNA, cannot be properly called a clone. Maria is --"
Jan laughed. "I think I get it."
Hank flushed slightly. "Sorry."
"Don't be, you're cute when you get carried away talking about science," Jan told him. She tapped his nose then kissed him as she climbed into his lap.
Hank knew he was being distracted but he really couldn't bring himself to care. Conversations about Tony Stark could wait.
Maria had never seen so many stars before in her life. Standing in one of the quiet courtyards of Asgard, she sat crossed legged on the ground gazing upwards. She was sure you couldn't see the stars like this from the Penthouse in New York, and at the Complex you never saw the sky.
She suddenly wished one of her sisters could be with her. She must have been close to one or two of them, right? It seemed to be how things worked.
Franklin had Val. Kelda seemed to have many brothers and sisters. Even the raven seemed to have brother or sister raven. So, the other girls that wore her face must be her sisters. She missed them after all. She wished they could see this sky with her.
Maybe some of them were some place where they couldsee the sky. She hoped so.
The feast she and Tony had attended at been different, but good. There were so many people -- gods, she supposed -- and she didn't see another child among them.
Maria had been fussed over by several golden haired women along with Kelda at dinner. In fact, she'd been the interest of quite a few people all day, which really didn't make much sense, but Maria was starting to accept that some places made no sense at all, and that Tony was right - she would get a headache if she thought about it too hard.
She did wish she knew whom they kept talking about when they spoke of her father. It certainly wasn't Tony and she'd given up trying to explain that she didn't have a father and that she and her sisters had been created probably from a random DNA sample. After she had tried that explanation it had lead to laughter.
All the attention at dinner had become too much and she'd slipped away. Tony had been deep in a conversation with Thor, so she didn't think he would notice or mind.
"I thought you might have escaped out here."
Maria turned her head and saw Thor standing close behind her. She scrambled to her feet. "I'm sorry, was I not allowed to leave?"
Thor smiled and Maria oddly felt at ease. "You're fine, child. Even gods have an end to their tolerance of being fussed over."
"Everyone is very nice," Maria said softly. "I just don't understand why they are all interested in me."
Thor regarded her carefully, and Maria tried not to fidget under his gaze. "You really do not know, do you?" Finally, Thor moved, kneeling down in front of her, taking the hammer from his back.
Maria held her ground, not looking away from Thor's gaze. "I protect Tony. I'm nothing important. He is."
"Would you do something for me, Maria?" Thor asked sitting the hammer in front of her. "Pick that up for me."
She hesitated for a moment, before reaching out and wrapping both her hands around the handle of the hammer. Maria wasn't sure she'd be able to lift it, but she tried anyways. To her surprise, it lifted easily.
"I think it's time for us to go."
Maria looked up and saw Tony walking across the courtyard. Thor took the hammer from her and slid it back into place.
Tony took Maria's hand and nodded to Thor. "Find out what you wanted to know?"
"I'm satisfied that you were speaking the truth," Thor responded. "We will talk again on other things."
Tony titled his head slightly. "I hope you can count me as a friend again one day."
"We will see."
Maria was confused but kept a hold of Tony's hand. She didn't understand what had just happened, or why the hammer seemed so important.
"Can we go home now?" she asked Tony.
Maria had fallen asleep on the plane ride back to New York and Tony had let her sleep. He had too many phone calls to return and too many emails. One voice mail from J. Jonah Jameson wanting to do an article of Maria he had ignored for the time being.
Maria woke up somewhat for the car ride to the penthouse but Tony had wound up carrying from the car to the penthouse despite her sleepy protests and mumbling something about ravens. By the time, they'd reached the penthouse she'd fallen back asleep.
Steve had been waiting for him in the living room and had nodded when Tony put a finger to his lips. Tony carried her into her bedroom, laying her down on her bed.
"Need some help?" Steve whispered, joining Tony.
Maria shifted slightly but stayed asleep.
"Could you get her nightshirt?" Tony whispered back as he took her shoes off.
Together they managed to change Maria into her nightgown without waking her up completely. She'd opened her eyes once, but drifted quickly back when her sleep filled eyes took in that Steve and Tony were there.
Tony tucked her in and kissed her forehead. He watched as Steve affectionately brushed her hair back from her face. Tony wanted to stand watching over her for a while longer, but Steve took his hand and tugged him from the room.
"Tony, we need to talk," Steve said quietly.
He closed his eyes and resisted the urge to rub his forehead. It never helped.
Steve hesitated, then wrapped his hand around the back of Tony's neck and stroked his thumb over Tony's skin. "I do have something that I want to tell you first. All of Hank's tests have been conclusive so far. I'm Steve Rogers. I'm who I think I am."
Tony managed a real smile for Steve. He didn't need to know that Hank had called Tony a few hours ago, and it only confirmed what Tony already believed. "I didn't need tests to tell me that, Steve." He rested his forehead against the other man’s. "But you’re right, we need to talk."
By unspoken agreement, they avoided the bedroom as a place to talk. Going into the bedroom would wind up with one of them pressed against a wall, not that Tony would object to that but sex wasn't going to solve anything.
Tony would have rather retreated to his personal lab but if they couldn't sit down and talk in the living room calmly and like the adults they pretended to be -- then there was nothing either of them could do to make this work.
"Do you want to go first?" Tony asked as they sat across from each other.
Steve looked at his hands. "I had a talk with Carol tonight."
Tony’s back stiffened and he had to keep himself from pulling up all the feeds from the penthouse from that evening. He would let Steve tell him at his own pace. "About?" It would be so easy to connect himself to Carol's line and ask her himself but she'd probably just yell at him again. He couldn't keep Steve all to himself. The man had every right to talk to anyone he wished without Tony needing to know the details.
"You," Steve said then smiled slightly. "I think she wanted to warn me about what I was getting myself into. She said you were in a bad way after I -- after you thought I died."
"I was fine. Carol worries too much," Tony protested. He had been fine, at least outwardly. He'd worked so hard at making sure no one knew he was falling apart. "I survived didn't I?" Tony asked.
Steve frowned and folded his arms over his chest. "Tony…"
Tony had to look away from Steve's gaze. "You were dead. I loved you and you were dead. It was my fault, and you were dead. How was I supposed to be?"
"Not trying to die," Steve said softly, reaching across to touch Tony's knee.
"I wasn't." Tony denied, covering Steve's hand with his own. He hadn't been trying to die; he'd just known what the value of his life was in comparison to so many others. And who would have missed Tony Stark? "I'm not suicidal. Despite what Carol might think after today." Tony smiled as if it were a joke.
Steve didn't smile back. "Why did you take Maria with you today?"
Tony felt a surge of guilt. "Because I'm an idiot." He pulled his hand from Steve's and rubbed his hand over his face. "I should have left her here safe with you. She could have been killed because I was a selfish coward."
"I thought you told Carol nothing happened? What happened? She looked unharmed --" Steve sounded like he wanted to be yelling.
Tony could read it in Steve's body language, the fear that something could have happened to Maria and forced himself to acknowledge that Steve might care about Maria just as much as he did.
"She is unharmed, but it could have been a near thing," Tony admitted. He closed his eyes. "I know Thor wouldn't have struck her, or me, but she didn't know that."
"Why would Maria even think Thor would strike either of you?" Steve asked.
Tony almost smiled at the disbelief in Steve's voice. Of course, no one would ever think Thor would do such a thing, or anything 'bad' in fact. Tony was sure even Steve would think the worst if the positions were reversed.
"Thor wasn't pleased to see me. He was pissed actually and I can't really blame him." There was an email from one of Rutgers' lackeys wanting to know further details about the new status of Asgard sitting in his inbox. He was getting the impression that they weren't happy about how Tony had handled it, but Tony really didn't care. "Maria must have thought Thor was going to attack me instead of just remind me that ticking off a god is a bad idea. She got between us. Nothing happened, she was fine but upset, but I never should have had her there with me."
Steve was quiet for what felt like hours. "Did Thor calm down after Maria intervened?"
"I think her bravery at thinking she could take on a god to 'protect' me appealed to the warrior side of him. The rest of the meeting went fine. We managed to come to an agreement that doesn't involve anyone in Asgard to register." Tony sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I wish I could do that for everyone."
"I think you need to talk to her about this idea that she has to protect you. It might give her a sense of purpose but it isn't healthy." Steve had shifted closer to Tony. Close enough to rest his hand on Tony's back and rub circles.
Tony closed his eyes again, using the cameras to check on Maria. She was curled into her cocoon of blankets, seemingly fast asleep. "Is this the part of the conversation where you tell me about Maria's meltdown?"
Steve's hand stopped. "That's why you took her with you, isn't it? You don't trust me with her."
"I was angry, Steve. She's my responsibility and you hid this from me." Tony refused to look at Steve. "I shouldn't have had to find out from Jarvis and cameras. And while we're on the subject? Never, ever refer to her as solider again." The last part came out harsher than Tony had meant it.
The hand didn't leave his back but Tony felt it tense. "It worked, Tony. You might not like it but sometimes you might have to use her background like that. She was having a meltdown. Letting her scream and work herself up more wasn't going to help her." Steve said firmly. "Maybe if you had been there you could have handled it differently. But she was hysterical even after I got her to stop yelling. She thought you'd grown tired of her and were going to replace her, that there'd been other girls before her -- and so help me Tony don't ever let me near whoever did this to her because I will not be responsible for my actions."
"You'd have to get in line. They're mine first." Tony told him without a trace of humor. "Why didn't you tell me this? It should have been the first thing you told me when I got back. You should have called me. You can't hide things from me because you don't think I can handle them!"
"I promised her," Steve said softly. "She didn't want you to be angry or disappointed in her. It was the only way I could get her to come out."
Tony’s anger left in a rush leaving him feeling deflated and petty. "Oh."
Steve's finger hesitated then started making circles on his back again, working their way under his shirt. "I should have told you. I'm sorry."
Tony shook his head. "Don't be. You were keeping your promise."
"I think if this is going to work we're going to need to talk to each other more," Steve said, his fingers following Tony's spine.
How could they make anything work when Steve hadn't made a decision? Tony was used to things not working for him, was used to never getting what he wanted -- what he needed. He'd known even before the war that things with Steve would end one way or another because the good things never lasted for him. But Maria was starting to see Steve as something permanent, something that belonged in their lives. She didn't deserve to be hurt because of Tony's fucked up relationship track record.
And what if she wanted Steve more than him?
Tony forced himself to nod. "I want this to work."
Steve cupped a hand around the back of Tony's neck and drew him in for a tender kiss. Tony happily gave into it, exhaustion seeping into his limbs. "Tony what would you have done if I wasn't -- me?"
Gone crazy, Tony thought. "It couldn't have been anyone but you."
Maybe something had shown in Tony's eyes because Steve kissed him fiercely and possessively. "It could have been a double switch or a trick in the morgue. I still could have been someone else," Steve said when they broke the kiss.
Tony shook his hand and brought Steve's fingers to his lips. "I doubt even a Skrull could duplicate the way you draw or how calluses form on your fingers."
Steve flushed and his eyes were warm. "You knew it was me by my hands?"
"And everything else that makes you Steve Rogers." Tony got to his feet and pulled Steve along with him. "Someone with your face could have shown up in the uniform and fooled people into thinking he was Captain America, but he could never fool anyone that knew Steve Rogers."
With a soft growl, Steve captured Tony's mouth and walked them backwards to the bedroom.
Later, lying in tangled sheets with his head resting against Steve's damp chest, Tony reviewed his email and voice mail for anything that had to be dealt with that night. Steve was petting his hair in a way that was making it very hard to think, but part of the benefits and problems with Extremis was that he could check almost anything at anytime.
"Stop thinking," Steve ordered him, good humouredly.
Tony arched his head back into Steve's petting like a cat. "Just checking some things." He came across Jameson's voice mail again and sighed loudly. "I can't believe Jameson would think I'd give him access to Maria -- wait that just might work."
"What?" Steve asked, stroking Tony's ear lobe.
"I think I have a way to help Peter."
no subject
Oh, Tony. "No, I wasn't suicidal! I just didn't particularly care if I lived or not, which in a combat situation is so close to suicidal as makes no difference!" And your conviction that Steve's going to up and leave Because That's How It Works For You. But the real heartbreaker for me was: And what if she wanted Steve more than him? It completely makes sense as something Tony would think.
Steve's still kind of clueless about what happened, isn't he? And about parenting, including the rule that promising the child not to tell < giving the parent the information needed about a serious breakdown.
no subject
Tony's issues have issues and it is canon that he grew pretty self destructive after Steve's death. He almost looks disappointed that Thor doesn't finish him in Thor #3.
And yes, Steve is a bit clueless when it comes to certain dos and don'ts about raising children.
no subject
Tony/his issues OTP. Trufax.
Clearly, Jarvis is going to have to do a lot of the childrearing around here. He's the...least flagrantly anti-qualified. (Because really, Tony is not just unqualified, he's antiqualified.)
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Jarvis managed to get Tony to adulthood so hopeful he can manage it with Maria. And Tony tries, and he is better than Reed.
but isn't Maria not normal?
I think it's better to not make the promise in the first place, or if you did it, persistently talk to the child when the child is calmer into talking to the parent about it.
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And also, uh oh.
Oh snap!
Carry on.
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And the hammer part, So nice.
Your way of showing Tony and Steve cuddle is really getting me in to it.
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