Fanfic: Chalybeate

[the-oke.livejournal.com]

Title: Chalybeate

Rating: NC-17

Characters: Steve Rogers, Iron Man

Summary: Steve's needs are unsatisfied.

They would be so ashamed of him right now, wouldn't they?

His parents, Bucky, Nick Fury, the Avengers, his Friends, Tony... Tony probably the most.

Captain America, though only Steven Rogers in civil clothes, is lying on his bed and stares at the ceiling, half expecting it to suddenly open and all of the world's disappointment come crushing down on him.

Steve, how can you – Steve, you of all people – I know you're just human Cap, but – Oh no, Steve..

He feels bad for disappointing them, letting them down, even if they (hopefully) will never learn about it; he feels bad for being a man of flesh and blood, for slipping a hand beneath his waistband, touching himself, thinking about doing it with him again.

It's bad enough to have a thing for a common warrior, thinking about him or her in inappropriate ways, wishing to touch and feel and make love to them, dominate them, order them round; but to want to have them command him, conquer them, own him in and out!

Steve closes his eyes, wrapping his hand round his disappointingly familiar dick, slowly pushing the skin forth and back, whilst dreaming of cold steel hands touching him, metallic fingers softly brushing his glans. It would be an intense new sensation, he's sure of this, to feel the armor on his naked skin, smooth and cool pressing him into the mattress, dominating him, ruling him.

The thought of cool gold and red stroking his length is a lot more appealing than his own boring flesh hand; the mere thought of his nipples brushing against an adamant chest plate is enough to erect them, even if it's only the sheet on top of him rubbing against them.

He spreads his legs further, bending his knees, trying to imagine he's giving him better access, wantonly presenting his most vulnerable parts, longing to be taken by someone more powerful, to be claimed; his shorts protest against being abused in this way, threatening to tear. If he were in bed with him, he'd be naked of course, maybe his clothes having been ripped of in an earlier fight...

Moaning softly, he slides a spit-moistened finger into himself, thinking of colder, blunter, thicker fingers doing so, the ringed metal creating the most marvelous sparks of lust as they invade his body. One, two, three fingers, but his own are too warm, too fleshy, too human to make this work, it's almost an turn-off to touch himself in this manner, so disgustingly fleshy.

Steve groans, wishing he wouldn't have to be afraid anybody walking on to him each time he wanked off, for if he didn't have to be dead afraid to have Peter or Carol or Tony drop by, he could go ahead and use whatever pleased him as a substitute for what he wasn't ever going to have; but he couldn't risk being seen shoving an iron pipe up his butt, he'd shatter too many beliefs and hopes if anybody caught him.

So he only continue dreaming of being spread by iron fingers, pretending to press his feverish face against a cool mask if it was only in pillow in reality, and believe into being fucked by a iron sheeted penis, feeling like a corrugated tube moving inside of him, hammering into him with superhuman strength.

Frustrated he fisted himself, angry for not being allowed to have what he needed so much, his own finger being not enough to make him feel good; he came into his shorts with a stifled groan, disgusted by the stickiness he produced, immediately getting up to wash his hands.

He didn't feel any better as he lay down on his bed again, sullenly staring at the ceiling again.

In his dream, Iron Man would remove his mask after catching his breath, and lay down by his side, facing him him a subtle smile on his face; they'd kiss and lie in each others arms until they fell asleep, content and sated, knowing the respective other would still be there why they awoke hours later.

Steve lay awake for a long time, not wanting to close his eyes and go to sleep.

At times it really sucked to be morally obliged.

A/N: Like it? Will write any sort of slash for art ;)

Comments

[kijikun.livejournal.com]

Correct and moral does not mean he'd have a problem with wanting a man -- maybe problems showing it due do the way such things were perceived in his own time but Steve has always been very open minded and accepting (unless we're talking Ultimate verse).

Like I said its a interesting idea of Steve having a thing for the armor itself and more Iron Man than for Tony but I think you over empathized Steve feeling 'ashamed' and that others would be disappointed in him. It was hard to tell if he meant disappointed because he wants Iron Man or the fact that he's masturbating.

[mardahin.livejournal.com]

It depends on how you're defining moral, because for most of the 20th Century, homosexuality (and sodomy in particular) were classed as immoral acts by the general public. Until 1973, homosexuality was officially listed as a mental illness. Steve originates well before the changes in public & federal opinions, and keep in mind, there are still states which outlaw sodomy.

I think one can argue Steve as having prejudices to overcome in that regard, if not regarding the act itself, regarding the place of that act within society - it's all in how it's written, and dealt with in the context of any given story. Steve is human, despite the Super Soldier Serum, and while he may be damn near perfect in a lot of ways, he's still prone to human weaknesses. Steve has issues with Pride, he has issues with Compromise, and he's going to have ingrained beliefs which aren't rational - that tends to be the nature of prejudices. They might be a result of something he saw (or was told) as a child and misinterpreted, they might be the result of specific cultural influences (Irish Catholic family, anyone?), he might even rationalize in the regard that others can do what they want with their lives, but he would never go there himself. Or, he could have an aversion to a personal same-sex relationship simply b/c of how aware he is of the way others view him, and considering maintaining certain appearances to be a part of propagating the values he's sworn to uphold.

I'm not saying that Steve is any of the things above, but the point is, he could be. Even with all of the canon that we have, there are huge portions of his life which are still very much a mystery, and a lot of them are the periods which could greatly influence even subconscious perceptions.

Also, I'm pretty sure you mean "emphasized", not "empathized".

[the-oke.livejournal.com]

:__:°
This was just some fun-slash story, not about general morals! Please don't argue! T_T