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cap_ironman2009-01-09 07:26 am
Heavy Data, pt 2, [pg?] Fanfiction
Series: Heavy Data
Rating: PG-ish, maybe
Word Count: 869 total
Genre: crack, fluff (later), angst at the moment
Betas:
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pandanoai and jynx A/N: For
the_oke and her Nightmare series.Previous Chapters: Part One
Series Summary: When the Iron Man armor refuses to fly and claims Tony's weight is the cause, Tony's determined to trim down. But when distortion meets dangerous methods, Steve will have to step and prove to Tony how beautiful he really is. (I need a new summary...)
Chapter Summary: Tony tries to find out what's going on. The others inadvertantly make matters worse.
A Week Later
Tony ran a hand harshly through his hair, frustrated. He glared at the medical files in front of him as if they’d caused him personal offense. In a way, they had. Among the reports strewn haphazardly across his desk, half of them were normal, showing only a mild increase that could be explained away by age or muscle building, while the other half, the half that he’d frantically taken throughout the week, gave evidence of a large increase (and he was firmly ignoring that pun) in a short space of time.
They weren’t making any sense, unless he’d been infested with a parasite or was pregnant (and honestly, weirder things had happened to others over the years that that idea wouldn’t freak him out so much), but there wasn’t any real explanation at all.
There was no reason those fail safes should have kicked in so suddenly. Although, he hadn’t actually worn the armor a few weeks before they did, but he had reviewed the armor’s system during that time, and had checked several more times since.
Had he overlooked something? He doubted it. He’d been extremely busy lately, but not so much to miss a program malfunction in the armor. Everyone did have a habit of telling him he overlooked his health when he was as busy as he’d been for the past month or so.
Could that be it? Had he just not notice that he’d gained weight? Sure, the armor was extremely sensitive to his body’s fluctuations. Could a gradual increase and then a spike have driven him over?
Tony picked up a report off his desk, flipped the pages angrily, and then threw it across the room.
Damn it.
------
A Few Incidents over the Next Few Days
------
Tony was in the kitchen making coffee when Jessica Drew came in with a bag of groceries. As she was putting them away right next to Tony, he couldn’t help but notice: “Dove Chocolate?”
Jessica smirked, nodding. “Yeah. It’s the one thing Jess, MJ, and I all agree on for cravings.”
“They are really good. Just make sure Peter doesn’t find them. Or Danny.”
“The only bad thing is they make you put on weight like crazy. It’s frustrating that all the cravings hit on stuff like that. You know what I mean though, right?”
Jessica winked at him, nudging his side gently as she finished putting things away and left.
Tony glared at his reflection in the coffee pot.
---
Tony was passing through the living room where Luke and Logan were bonding over some macho, explosive, gun wielding action film. They each had a beer in hand and many more empty ones on the coffee table in front of them, though to be fair to Luke, the majority were piled high in front of
He happened to catch a bit of the conversation.
“Man, I don’t know how you don’t have a beer gut, downin’ ‘em like that, healing factor or not!” Luke sounded mildly intrigued.
“Don’t mean nothin’. Look at Stark. He don’t even drink anymore an’ he’s got a spare tire now.”
“Yeah, I guess you got a point…”
Tony all but ran from the room.
---
Jessica Drew, Jessica Jones, and MJ were entering the penthouse after a day of dragging Peter to the mall for shopping, basically to make him their packhorse. He was piled high with so many packages that his spider-sense couldn’t warn him in time about the bump in the rug or Tony coming down the hall from the opposite direction.
There was a yelp, a crumpling of bags and boxes, and a big whoosh of air.
Tony had landed across the majority of the packages. And the majority of Peter.
“Get off of me, you weigh a ton!” Peter hollered from where his head had ended up inside a bag.
Tony didn’t bother helping him up.
---
Sparring with Steve always helped Tony let out some pent up aggression. He was particularly aggressive today. So much so that he didn’t bother to notice how Steve’s work out attire clung to him. Okay, didn’t notice as much as he usually did.
Tony swung his fist high, purposefully missing Steve’s face in order to distract him from the calf that took out Steve’s knees. Steve latched onto Tony’s bicep, dragging him down with him, but instead of allowing Steve to pin him, Tony launched his own body to a hard right, catching Steve by surprise and pinning him beneath him.
“Nice work, Tony!” Steve grinned up at him.
“Sorry about the knee thing. I’ve felt a bit pent up lately.”
“No, it was good. So was the flip and pin. It’s good you’re bulking up; use the extra weight to your advantage, it’ll help…”
But Tony was already out the door before Steve could finish his sentence with a rasped, “Gotta go, sorry!”
---
Tony stood in front of his bathroom mirror, having just exited the shower, and stared at himself.
“You’re pathetic.”
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I can´t see that ending well -.-
...unless we bring in the Steve factor
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It's ok, sweetie...you're fine! Steve, come comfort your boyfriend!
With the Dove chocolate thing, I could just imagine Tony grumbling, "Are you saying I'm fat?" And it was sad, but with Tony saying it, it was hilarious all the same. XD
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