I agree with you that he had a plan and he set it up and was successful, BUT like you said, if he *didn't* intend to die, his telling Pepper and Co that he was, is not only a 'dick move' but also a bit uncharacteristic thing to do to Pepper atleast. And then the whole 'sleeping with Maria'... As it was, I can only see that happening if both were convinced that this the last time they were seeing each other. And for all his 'womanizing', one thing that had remained consistent in decades of IM is that Tony respects capable/kickass women.

As for Bucky... Well, yes he's Captain America, but he's also Captain America with a freaking gun in his hands (and a bazillion knives over his person). So, yes he was definitely trying to be a hero, but he had also been one of the world's most dangerous assassins for most of his life. I don't think he had any problem with Tony once Steve was back from the dead (in fact in the Heroic Age Avengers, Bucky has been about the only one on the team who actually talks to Tony... And as I pointed above he was the first one to say, almost immediately, that they *have* to save him!) But while Steve was dead, I can definitely see Bucky still blaming him a bit.

And well, didn't Thor offer Steve's ghost to 'avenge him'? I've only seen the individual pages from that issue but I sort of got the idea that the one he was asking permission to 'avenge' him against, was Tony?