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cap_ironman2012-02-14 03:57 pm
luninosity.livejournal.com) wrote in cap_ironman2012-02-14 03:57 pm
Entry tags:
fic: hero (he's ordinary)
Happy Valentine's Day! As promised, another short fic!
Title: Hero (He's Ordinary)
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
luninosity
Word Count: 517
Characters: Tony Stark, Steve Rogers; (maybe Steve/Tony if you squint, or if, like me, you wonder why Steve is randomly hanging out at Tony's place, eating popcorn and making coffee)
Rating: PG.
Warnings: none really. All dialogue, again; spoilers (all italicized quotes) for the 1944 Captain America serial. Also, the Dynamic Vibrator is probably not what you think it is. At one point they use it to knock down a building.
"Steve?”
“What?”
“Come here!”
“Why?”
“I have something to show you. It’s amazing. Trust me.”
“I remember the last time you said that.”
“I promise you that there is nothing explosive involved this time. Also, I made popcorn.”
“Fine.”
Republic Pictures Presents: Captain America!
“Oh, my God. Is that me? That’s not me!”
“It’s like watching a black-and-white apocalypse, isn’t it?”
“Where…what…?”
“It came out the year after you disappeared. My dad kept a copy, apparently. Who’s Grant Gardner? Why are you a District Attorney?”
“I don’t know! Why am I fat? I’m not fat!”
“Bring me the Purple Death Bombs.”
“I’m very confused.”
“Do you think they were trying to cover up your real identity for some reason?”
“That’s the only explanation I can think of…”
“We’re here to witness your demonstration of the Dynamic Vibrator.”
“I'm glad you came. I alone know the secret of this machine and it's a heavy responsibility.”
“Did they say ‘Dynamic Vibrator’?”
“I don’t know what you’re thinking, Tony, but I’m sure it’s not what the writers had in mind.”
“Hey! This dame’s wise to our setup!”
“That’s a tractor. Why am I being run over by a tractor?”
“I’m starting to like the Professor character. He’s a tough old guy.”
“Please don’t like anything about this.”
“Hey, did that guy just hit you with a two-by-four?”
“This is murder!”
“That’s right! Wholesale murder!”
“Who’s responsible for this thing, anyway? Republic Pictures? Timely Comics?”
“Never heard of them.”
“I can see why…”
“This contains an extract of groofula jungle flower, which is a very efficient truth serum. Under its influence, you will tell me anything I want to know. Unfortunately for you, the effects never wear off and you'll spend the rest of your life in an insane asylum - a hopeless idiot!”
“Maybe vodka will make it less confusing.”
“There’s not enough vodka in the world for that, Tony.”
“A dead man has been brought back to life!”
“You know, I don’t think the vodka helped.”
"Thanks to Captain America, who we now know to be our fighting District Attorney, the Scarab and his murderous gang will pay the supreme penalty in the electric chair at the stroke of midnight tonight…”
“Is it over? Oh, thank god…”
“I don’t know, I thought it was getting better toward the end. Love the costume, too.”
“Why aren’t there any old embarrassing movies of people who aren’t you?”
“Because I’m amazing. Wait here! I’ve got an idea!”
“Tony, where are you going?”
…
“Tony?”
…
“Tony, I’m making coffee. And I’m using your expensive imported beans. Tell me if you want some.”
…
“I’m back! Look, I made you something.”
“I don’t know if I want to thank you yet. What is it?”
“Come on, Steve, don’t you recognize a Dynamic Vibrator when you see one?”
“I don’t think I like you anymore.”
“It totally works, too. Even though I had to scale the power back a little to make it this small.”
“Tony…”
“If you want to test it out, I promise not to tell anyone.”
“…oh, all right. Let’s go.”
Title: Hero (He's Ordinary)
Author:
luninosityWord Count: 517
Characters: Tony Stark, Steve Rogers; (maybe Steve/Tony if you squint, or if, like me, you wonder why Steve is randomly hanging out at Tony's place, eating popcorn and making coffee)
Rating: PG.
Warnings: none really. All dialogue, again; spoilers (all italicized quotes) for the 1944 Captain America serial. Also, the Dynamic Vibrator is probably not what you think it is. At one point they use it to knock down a building.
"Steve?”
“What?”
“Come here!”
“Why?”
“I have something to show you. It’s amazing. Trust me.”
“I remember the last time you said that.”
“I promise you that there is nothing explosive involved this time. Also, I made popcorn.”
“Fine.”
Republic Pictures Presents: Captain America!
“Oh, my God. Is that me? That’s not me!”
“It’s like watching a black-and-white apocalypse, isn’t it?”
“Where…what…?”
“It came out the year after you disappeared. My dad kept a copy, apparently. Who’s Grant Gardner? Why are you a District Attorney?”
“I don’t know! Why am I fat? I’m not fat!”
“Bring me the Purple Death Bombs.”
“I’m very confused.”
“Do you think they were trying to cover up your real identity for some reason?”
“That’s the only explanation I can think of…”
“We’re here to witness your demonstration of the Dynamic Vibrator.”
“I'm glad you came. I alone know the secret of this machine and it's a heavy responsibility.”
“Did they say ‘Dynamic Vibrator’?”
“I don’t know what you’re thinking, Tony, but I’m sure it’s not what the writers had in mind.”
“Hey! This dame’s wise to our setup!”
“That’s a tractor. Why am I being run over by a tractor?”
“I’m starting to like the Professor character. He’s a tough old guy.”
“Please don’t like anything about this.”
“Hey, did that guy just hit you with a two-by-four?”
“This is murder!”
“That’s right! Wholesale murder!”
“Who’s responsible for this thing, anyway? Republic Pictures? Timely Comics?”
“Never heard of them.”
“I can see why…”
“This contains an extract of groofula jungle flower, which is a very efficient truth serum. Under its influence, you will tell me anything I want to know. Unfortunately for you, the effects never wear off and you'll spend the rest of your life in an insane asylum - a hopeless idiot!”
“Maybe vodka will make it less confusing.”
“There’s not enough vodka in the world for that, Tony.”
“A dead man has been brought back to life!”
“You know, I don’t think the vodka helped.”
"Thanks to Captain America, who we now know to be our fighting District Attorney, the Scarab and his murderous gang will pay the supreme penalty in the electric chair at the stroke of midnight tonight…”
“Is it over? Oh, thank god…”
“I don’t know, I thought it was getting better toward the end. Love the costume, too.”
“Why aren’t there any old embarrassing movies of people who aren’t you?”
“Because I’m amazing. Wait here! I’ve got an idea!”
“Tony, where are you going?”
…
“Tony?”
…
“Tony, I’m making coffee. And I’m using your expensive imported beans. Tell me if you want some.”
…
“I’m back! Look, I made you something.”
“I don’t know if I want to thank you yet. What is it?”
“Come on, Steve, don’t you recognize a Dynamic Vibrator when you see one?”
“I don’t think I like you anymore.”
“It totally works, too. Even though I had to scale the power back a little to make it this small.”
“Tony…”
“If you want to test it out, I promise not to tell anyone.”
“…oh, all right. Let’s go.”
no subject
The Dynamic Vibrator, eh? Yes, test it, boys! ;)
no subject
They'll need to be very thorough in their tests, of course. Can't be anything less than certain. :-p
no subject
BEST. LINE. EVER. Had me rolling. Seriously. And Tony make a Dynamic Vibrator!! Baahahaha :)
no subject
Of course Tony would make a Dynamic Vibrator. His probably doesn't destroy nearby buildings, though. (Well, probably not...)
Thank you for reading; so glad you liked! :-)
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There are...something like 12 episodes of about 15 minutes each, if I'm remembering it right? After a while I started testing the application of margaritas in the hope that it'd somehow make more sense. (It did not.) It's completely worth it just for the sheer WTF moments, though!
*off to post the Erik/Charles holiday thing, finally!*
no subject
Haha, that sounds fun. I think I'd test the application of Bailey's for similar results. I have a friend who is the biggest Cap fan I've ever met (she wrote her thesis on Cap). I'm going to ask her if she's seen these episodes and if not, if she'd like to get drunk and do so.
Yes, Erik/Charles halloween fic! *happy dance* I know what I'll be reading tomorrow!
no subject
A thesis on Cap? That sounds fascinating! (I know someone who's teaching him in a course on comics and warfare...) Do you know what her argument was?
And, yay! Will be excited to know what you think. :-)
no subject
Ooh, a course on comics and warfare! I bet they cover a lot of Two-Fisted Tales and other EC comics. Sometimes I wish I was a student, or at least in academia.
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no subject
Probably something else new next week, after I get done grading student papers! :-)
no subject