velithya (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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cap_ironman2008-07-08 11:47 pm
velithya) wrote in cap_ironman2008-07-08 11:47 pm
Entry tags:
Fic: Momentary Paws (or, DO NOT WANT) 2/5
Thank you everyone for your comments! Sneaking in under the wire for today, here's part 2 :)
Title: Momentary Paws (or, DO NOT WANT) 2/5
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
velithya
Rating: R
Pairing: Steve/Tony (preslash)
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Marvel. I'm just playing in their sandbox.
Summary: WTF KITTEN
Word Count: 16,831 total, 3153 this section
Previously: Part 1
Momentary Paws (or, DO NOT WANT)
Part 2
Tony's in the kitchen when the call comes in, and he's halfway to the elevator and calling the undersheath of his armour when he realises that a)his undersheath is not responsive and b)he is a kitten, and will therefore be unable to physically pilot his armour. Not that this will stop him directing his armour remotely (and he sends out the order to assemble, pieces flying together and the visual feed from the armour kicking in behind his eyes) but Tony likes being in the armour.
He hears Steve give the order to assemble over the communicators, Peter and Luke checking in, already on their way. Jessica is on the helicarrier for a meeting with S.H.I.E.L.D., but she'll get there as soon as she can, although Maria Hill is stalling with her usual animosity.
*Steve, do you need a lift?* Tony asks, racing down the corridor. Steve had been taking a shower after a gym workout; he's stepping out of his room as Tony approaches, shield on his arm and pulling his cowl up one-handed.
"Tony, you're-" Steve says, and then the armour steps out of the elevator.
"Come on, Captain," Iron Man says. "The others are already on their way."
"I heard," Steve says, jogging past Tony towards the armour. "You're right to pilot like this?"
"I could pilot the armour in my sleep," Iron Man says, Tony doing a sharp u-turn and dashing after Steve.
Steve stops next to the armour, which puts an arm around his waist. "Hold on," Tony says through the armour as he takes a flying leap and sets all four sets of claws in one of Steve's belt pouches.
The armour launches, Tony clinging on for dear life. He traces the location of the origin call and sets a flight path before they've even cleared the roof, monitoring his visual feeds automatically for air traffic as he tracks down any digital signal coming from the area. He picks up a police band ("Sir, it's- we can't contain this! We need help!"), sixteen cell phone videos (although he's learnt his lesson about those, too blurry to be useful unless they're the only thing in the area) and two network-TV video cameras. He patches into those, streaming them straight into his head.
*Anyone know what we're dealing with?* Tony asks over the Avengers channel, watching two almost identical blonde newscasters speak earnestly into microphones about the menace crawling over New York streets.
The armour flies around a corner, automatically correcting against the wind, and one of the cameras pans over and up, zooming in on people running frantically down the street. The newscaster is saying something about pandemonium in the streets.
"I'm almost there," Peter says. "Just around this - oh my god. This is worse than the ninjas."
"I thought nothing was worse than ninjas," Luke says.
The second camera pans across, now, and Tony blinks as he stares at the feed, trying to work out if he should believe what he's seeing.
"I changed my mind," Peter says. "This is definitely worse than ninjas."
"What are we looking at, Spider-Man?" Steve says, all Captain America now that there's something to fight, and the armour clears the last obstructing building and enters open airspace.
"Giant lobsters," Peter says, and Tony watches from two different angles as lobsters the size of buses scuttle down the sidewalk, leaving lightpoles crumpled and sparking in their wake.
"Are you shitting me?" Luke says, and Tony drops the extra feeds, doing a visual scan through the armour.
*The lobsters are coming from the river,* Tony says. *They appear to be arriving onto the island at a single point and then spreading out.*
"We need to contain them and force them back to that point," Steve says. "Luke, where are you coming from?"
"North," Luke says.
"You take the northern streets," Steve says immediately.
"I'm at the south end," Peter says, and Steve looks sideways at the armour.
"Drop me north of centre," he says. "We'll take the middle."
"Got it," Tony says, calculates where the lobsters will be in thirty seconds, and takes them in to land.
The moment boots touch pavement Steve is off and running. Tony's paws are starting to ache from the strain of holding on so long, but he tries to ignore it (and it's not like he's short of practice on attempting to ignore pain, but that's something he also tries to ignore). The armour takes off again, staying low this time and cutting between buildings, arriving at the point Tony tracked a good ten seconds before the first giant lobster.
"I'm here," Luke says, then "Shit, they really are giant lobsters."
"And here I forgot to bring my lobster mallet," Peter says.
Tony patches in to the police band. *This is Iron Man. The Avengers are here to contain the threat. Please clear the area of civilians.*
"Roger that, Iron Man," someone replies, and then the armour is in range, body-slamming the first lobster and stopping it in its tracks, following it up with a double-gauntlet repulser blast which sends it tumbling backwards down the street.
Steve has also engaged his first lobster, although since Tony is clinging to a belt-pouch on his back, Tony has no idea what he's doing. He's just trying to hang on and go with Steve's motions.
The lobster the armour tossed has managed to collect two other lobsters in its path, a tangled mess of waving claws and feelers fetched up against a line of parked cars. Tony sends the armour racing forward, blasting the lobster pile further backwards, catching up another lobster in its tumble.
Steve darts sideways, one of Tony's back paws coming loose as a giant claw snaps shut right where Steve's head had just been. Tony scrabbles back a clawhold as Steve moves forward, twisting as he throws his shield at the lobster in front of him.
*Spider-Man,* Tony says, body swinging sideways as Steve moves again, *I'm three streets north of you. I have a pile of lobsters that would be much more awesome as a ball of lobsters.*
"I'm not sure webbing will go that well with garlic butter," Peter says. A few moments later he swings down from overhead and covers the lobster pile with webbing.
"These things came out of the Hudson," Luke says. "You really want to eat them?"
"That's true," Peter says, swinging out of the armour's sight. "They're just shells of their former selves."
One of Tony's front paws comes loose this time, and he sends the armour charging forward with the smallest amount of concentration he can as he desperately swipes at the leather. He manages to snag one claw into the pouch and hang as the armour shoves the lobster ball careening down the street, knocking over the lobsters advancing in his direction.
"Hey, you got a strike!" Peter says.
"What are you talking about?" Luke says.
"Lobster-bowling," Peter says. "It's the new sport this season."
*How are you guys going?* Tony says. *My section is under control.*
"I am a lobster mallet," Luke says. "I got no problems."
"Fine here," Steve says, and then dives into a sideways roll across the street as a claw slams into the asphalt where he'd just been. Peter's answer blurs into Tony's yowl as he loses his grip and gets tossed to the street, tumbling a few feet before he can regain his balance. He gets to his feet a little unsteadily, shaking his head and looking around.
Steve is standing a few yards away, back to the lobsters and staring at him. "Tony? What are you-" he says, not over the comm, and the lobster behind him raises a claw.
*Behind you!* Tony says directly to Steve, urgent, and Steve spins and shifts in the same motion, Tony a streak across the street as he darts to catch up to him.
"What are you doing here," Steve says, sharp and concerned, all accusation and no question. "This is no place for kittens."
*I'll be fine,* Tony says. *Just keep fighting.*
"Tony-" Steve says, and Tony hisses in annoyance.
*I will watch from over here if you want,* he says. *Just stop arguing an- duck!*
Steve does a controlled tumble across the street, rolling up and flinging his shield at the lobster, hitting it right in the fa- in the mass of feelers and eyes that's probably its face, anyway. The lobster staggers backwards, Steve advancing. "Just stay out of the way," Steve says, and then throws his shield again, muscles in his arm bunching.
Tony jumps onto the hood of the nearest parked car, then the roof, keeping pace with Steve as he slowly advances. In the back of his mind, the armour is pushing the lobster ball even further down the street. It takes out another set of lobsters, and he tracks where he is compared to the others, communicator signals blinking dots on his map of New York streets. Peter is lagging behind the most, and he gives the lobster ball one last push before taking a quick zigzag over in his direction.
*Spider-Man,* Tony says, *swap streets.*
"You just think my lobsters are tastier than yours," Peter accuses, giving the armour the thumbs up as he swings past in the opposite direction.
*I don't think I'm going to be eating lobster again for a very long time,* Tony says, and sets about blasting Peter's lobsters down the street towards the river.
His physical body has jumped another three cars to keep up with Steve, slowly but surely pushing his lobsters back. A noise to his right catches his attention, a diner full of patrons plastered to glass windows and watching, without care for their own safety. One of them is pointing at him, and he shakes himself and looks away, jumping to the next car.
*If you can get this one back and to the right you'll take out the next lobster too,* Tony says to Steve.
Steve doesn't reply, frustration in the line of his body as he hurls his shield again, but the lobster goes staggering back and to the right, tumbling into the one behind it and both of them going down.
"Easy, kitty kitty," someone says behind him, soft, Tony not paying attention as he scans the area for the most advantageous direction Steve can shove his next lobster. "Come on, just let me-"
Someone grabs him, hands tight around his midsection, and Tony yowls, scrabbling furiously and lashing out with claws.
*Steve!* he yells, panicked, and then whoever it is drops him as Tony scores a particularly vicious scratch down the back of their hand. He streaks towards Steve, who has turned in his direction, the next lobster a little way off and no immediate threat.
He circles behind Steve's legs, turning and hissing at his attacker. It's the guy from the diner, who is swearing and shaking out his injured hand.
"It's not safe out here, you should go back inside," Steve tells him, voice raised to carry. "Also, don't touch the kitten."
"Just trying to get her to safety," the guy mutters, but he goes.
"Can you stay out of trouble for one minute?" Steve asks Tony wearily, and Tony mrows plaintively.
*I was staying out of trouble!* he complains. *If that guy hadn't - okay, lobster time.*
He gets out of the way as Steve moves forward to intercept the lobster, finding another line of parked cars to watch from - on the other side of the street. There are no more surprises, though, and by the time the Avengers converge on the point the lobsters had been leaving the river they are already retreating, scuttling back into the river, leaving their fallen behind.
"Where the hell were they coming from?" Luke demands. His shirt has been reduced to shreds, although his sunglasses are still in place, albeit scratched.
"Wherever giant lobsters live?" Peter asks, flicking a stray piece of shell from his shoulder. Tony, sitting on Steve's shoulder, ducks as it flies past.
"I can find out," Tony says, and the armour dives into the river after them. He follows the flickering motions of the final lobster a hundred yards towards the ocean, and then there is a blur of colour and motion and when everything clears it's gone.
Tony circles the spot, doing scan after scan, but it all comes to the same conclusion: nothing.
*You're not going to believe this,* he says, finally. *They just vanished. There's no energy residue here, nothing to indicate a portal of any kind, or a cloaked ship, or anything at all. There's just, nothing. Like they were never here.*
Tony swivels his head to check, but the strewn debris of fallen lobsters over the streets indicates that a similar disappearance has not affected the remaining lobsters on land.
"That's disturbing," Peter says. "Seriously. Anyone else find that disturbing? I mean, giant lobsters the size of buses don't just vanish."
"Apparently, they do," Tony says, wading out of the river, water sheeting off the armour.
"Well, shit," Luke says, looking at the armour. "Are they going to come back?"
The armour shrugs. "Hell if I know," Tony says.
Luke takes the non-answer at face value, nodding and glancing around. His gaze falls on Tony, sitting on Steve's shoulder. "Hey," he says. "Hey, Cap. Why do you have a kitten?"
***
Peter says he'll make his own way back to the Tower, but the armour gives both Steve and Luke a lift back, one under each arm, Steve with Tony cradled carefully in the crook of his arm. Steve's still annoyed, Tony can tell with how he barely said two words while Peter told Luke all about Tony's current status as a kitten, but the arm holding him is gentle, safe. Despite smelling really quite a lot like lobster, Steve is still very warm, and underneath it all, he still smells like Steve.
When they land on the roof Luke sniffs a few times and declares he is going to spend the rest of the day in the shower scrubbing off lobster. Steve nods as he leaves, and then it's just him and Tony, and silence.
*You should have a shower too,* Tony says. *The lobster is kind of strong.*
Steve nods and heads through the door, the armour following. Once inside Tony sends it towards the elevator, where it can go back down to the lab, sluice off, and then disassemble. Steve goes straight for his room, setting Tony down on the chair next to the bed and walking into the bathroom. The door closes firmly behind him, and Tony stares at it. There's the odd thunk of metal on plaster that would be the shield being lent against the wall, the rustle of clothes hitting the floor, and then water rushing through pipes.
"Tony," Steve says after a minute, voice coming through soft on the private channel, "why did you come to the fight?"
Tony pokes delicately at a loose thread with one of his claws. *I'm an Avenger,* he says. *Once an Avenger-*
"Always an Avenger," Steve finishes. "I know, but Tony - you're a kitten. You could have been hurt."
*I didn't get hurt,* Tony says. *Steve, I was fine. I will be fine. I'm not just - I'm not going to sit here and not help.*
"That guy grabbed you," Steve says. "I thought-" He breaks off, silence for a few moments. "I'm going to wash my hair," he says. "I'll be back in a second."
The line goes dead, and Tony prowls around the chair. He should go do... something else, somewhere else, but he can't tinker with his armour and anyway, the garage is probably going to smell like lobster for the next five hours. Steve put him on the chair, though, and Steve - well, it means something to Tony that out of all of them, Steve's the only one wearing his communicator at all times. Even when he's sleeping.
The line clicks open and Tony stops circling and sits down facing the door.
"When the guy grabbed you," Steve says, never one to back down from a topic, "I thought a lobster had hit you. I don't want you to get hurt."
*I'm not - Steve, that guy was just a guy. The lobsters never got near me. Kittens can run pretty fast.*
"That's not the point," Steve says, frustration lacing his tone. "You're a kitten and you shouldn't have been there."
Tony blinks. *You... don't want me to help.*
"I want you to help. I don't want you to get hurt because you're a kitten and can't protect yourself," Steve says. In the bathroom, the water shuts off.
Tony picks at the end of the loose thread. *I can handle it,* he says. *I'm not going to get hurt.*
"Tony-"
*You can't just cut me out,* Tony says. Steve had come to him first, when he wanted to restart the Avengers, and that meant something, right?
"I'm not trying to cut you out," Steve says. His voice is muffled, odd rustling underlying his words; Tony guesses he's toweling his hair. "I'm trying to stop you getting hurt because you are a kitten."
Tony hears 'kitten', and behind that he hears 'heart condition' and 'recovering alcoholic' and 'been mind-controlled too many times'. *Steve, I can't - this is what I do. This is who I am.* It was always going to be something, but Tony's gotten used to the hand he gets dealt. *I'm not going to let this stop me doing my job.*
"You don't have to let it," Steve says. "You were remote-piloting the armour today - why couldn't you pilot it from here?"
Tony blinks, processing. Steve doesn't want him fighting with the others. Doesn't want him there. *If you don't want me around you just have to say so,* he says.
"That is not what I said," Steve says, and then the door to the bathroom wrenches open, Steve haloed in steam, towel around his waist and hair standing up in messy spikes. "Tony, I do want you around. You're part of the team. I just want you to look after yourself for a change."
Tony's going to reply, he really is, because he does look after himself, it's just that other things are more important than him, only his kitten body decides then to remind him that a)he is a kitten and b)kittens get hungry, especially kittens who have just hitched rides to a battlezone with giant lobsters and then raced all over the road. He makes a noise that he will deny with his last breath ever making, it's that pitiful, and Steve frowns.
"Tony? You okay?"
*I'm hungry again,* Tony says, dropping his head onto his paws and groaning.
Steve sighs. "Let me put some clothes on," he says, "and I'll get you some food."
| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 |
Title: Momentary Paws (or, DO NOT WANT) 2/5
Author:
velithyaRating: R
Pairing: Steve/Tony (preslash)
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Marvel. I'm just playing in their sandbox.
Summary: WTF KITTEN
Word Count: 16,831 total, 3153 this section
Previously: Part 1
Part 2
Tony's in the kitchen when the call comes in, and he's halfway to the elevator and calling the undersheath of his armour when he realises that a)his undersheath is not responsive and b)he is a kitten, and will therefore be unable to physically pilot his armour. Not that this will stop him directing his armour remotely (and he sends out the order to assemble, pieces flying together and the visual feed from the armour kicking in behind his eyes) but Tony likes being in the armour.
He hears Steve give the order to assemble over the communicators, Peter and Luke checking in, already on their way. Jessica is on the helicarrier for a meeting with S.H.I.E.L.D., but she'll get there as soon as she can, although Maria Hill is stalling with her usual animosity.
*Steve, do you need a lift?* Tony asks, racing down the corridor. Steve had been taking a shower after a gym workout; he's stepping out of his room as Tony approaches, shield on his arm and pulling his cowl up one-handed.
"Tony, you're-" Steve says, and then the armour steps out of the elevator.
"Come on, Captain," Iron Man says. "The others are already on their way."
"I heard," Steve says, jogging past Tony towards the armour. "You're right to pilot like this?"
"I could pilot the armour in my sleep," Iron Man says, Tony doing a sharp u-turn and dashing after Steve.
Steve stops next to the armour, which puts an arm around his waist. "Hold on," Tony says through the armour as he takes a flying leap and sets all four sets of claws in one of Steve's belt pouches.
The armour launches, Tony clinging on for dear life. He traces the location of the origin call and sets a flight path before they've even cleared the roof, monitoring his visual feeds automatically for air traffic as he tracks down any digital signal coming from the area. He picks up a police band ("Sir, it's- we can't contain this! We need help!"), sixteen cell phone videos (although he's learnt his lesson about those, too blurry to be useful unless they're the only thing in the area) and two network-TV video cameras. He patches into those, streaming them straight into his head.
*Anyone know what we're dealing with?* Tony asks over the Avengers channel, watching two almost identical blonde newscasters speak earnestly into microphones about the menace crawling over New York streets.
The armour flies around a corner, automatically correcting against the wind, and one of the cameras pans over and up, zooming in on people running frantically down the street. The newscaster is saying something about pandemonium in the streets.
"I'm almost there," Peter says. "Just around this - oh my god. This is worse than the ninjas."
"I thought nothing was worse than ninjas," Luke says.
The second camera pans across, now, and Tony blinks as he stares at the feed, trying to work out if he should believe what he's seeing.
"I changed my mind," Peter says. "This is definitely worse than ninjas."
"What are we looking at, Spider-Man?" Steve says, all Captain America now that there's something to fight, and the armour clears the last obstructing building and enters open airspace.
"Giant lobsters," Peter says, and Tony watches from two different angles as lobsters the size of buses scuttle down the sidewalk, leaving lightpoles crumpled and sparking in their wake.
"Are you shitting me?" Luke says, and Tony drops the extra feeds, doing a visual scan through the armour.
*The lobsters are coming from the river,* Tony says. *They appear to be arriving onto the island at a single point and then spreading out.*
"We need to contain them and force them back to that point," Steve says. "Luke, where are you coming from?"
"North," Luke says.
"You take the northern streets," Steve says immediately.
"I'm at the south end," Peter says, and Steve looks sideways at the armour.
"Drop me north of centre," he says. "We'll take the middle."
"Got it," Tony says, calculates where the lobsters will be in thirty seconds, and takes them in to land.
The moment boots touch pavement Steve is off and running. Tony's paws are starting to ache from the strain of holding on so long, but he tries to ignore it (and it's not like he's short of practice on attempting to ignore pain, but that's something he also tries to ignore). The armour takes off again, staying low this time and cutting between buildings, arriving at the point Tony tracked a good ten seconds before the first giant lobster.
"I'm here," Luke says, then "Shit, they really are giant lobsters."
"And here I forgot to bring my lobster mallet," Peter says.
Tony patches in to the police band. *This is Iron Man. The Avengers are here to contain the threat. Please clear the area of civilians.*
"Roger that, Iron Man," someone replies, and then the armour is in range, body-slamming the first lobster and stopping it in its tracks, following it up with a double-gauntlet repulser blast which sends it tumbling backwards down the street.
Steve has also engaged his first lobster, although since Tony is clinging to a belt-pouch on his back, Tony has no idea what he's doing. He's just trying to hang on and go with Steve's motions.
The lobster the armour tossed has managed to collect two other lobsters in its path, a tangled mess of waving claws and feelers fetched up against a line of parked cars. Tony sends the armour racing forward, blasting the lobster pile further backwards, catching up another lobster in its tumble.
Steve darts sideways, one of Tony's back paws coming loose as a giant claw snaps shut right where Steve's head had just been. Tony scrabbles back a clawhold as Steve moves forward, twisting as he throws his shield at the lobster in front of him.
*Spider-Man,* Tony says, body swinging sideways as Steve moves again, *I'm three streets north of you. I have a pile of lobsters that would be much more awesome as a ball of lobsters.*
"I'm not sure webbing will go that well with garlic butter," Peter says. A few moments later he swings down from overhead and covers the lobster pile with webbing.
"These things came out of the Hudson," Luke says. "You really want to eat them?"
"That's true," Peter says, swinging out of the armour's sight. "They're just shells of their former selves."
One of Tony's front paws comes loose this time, and he sends the armour charging forward with the smallest amount of concentration he can as he desperately swipes at the leather. He manages to snag one claw into the pouch and hang as the armour shoves the lobster ball careening down the street, knocking over the lobsters advancing in his direction.
"Hey, you got a strike!" Peter says.
"What are you talking about?" Luke says.
"Lobster-bowling," Peter says. "It's the new sport this season."
*How are you guys going?* Tony says. *My section is under control.*
"I am a lobster mallet," Luke says. "I got no problems."
"Fine here," Steve says, and then dives into a sideways roll across the street as a claw slams into the asphalt where he'd just been. Peter's answer blurs into Tony's yowl as he loses his grip and gets tossed to the street, tumbling a few feet before he can regain his balance. He gets to his feet a little unsteadily, shaking his head and looking around.
Steve is standing a few yards away, back to the lobsters and staring at him. "Tony? What are you-" he says, not over the comm, and the lobster behind him raises a claw.
*Behind you!* Tony says directly to Steve, urgent, and Steve spins and shifts in the same motion, Tony a streak across the street as he darts to catch up to him.
"What are you doing here," Steve says, sharp and concerned, all accusation and no question. "This is no place for kittens."
*I'll be fine,* Tony says. *Just keep fighting.*
"Tony-" Steve says, and Tony hisses in annoyance.
*I will watch from over here if you want,* he says. *Just stop arguing an- duck!*
Steve does a controlled tumble across the street, rolling up and flinging his shield at the lobster, hitting it right in the fa- in the mass of feelers and eyes that's probably its face, anyway. The lobster staggers backwards, Steve advancing. "Just stay out of the way," Steve says, and then throws his shield again, muscles in his arm bunching.
Tony jumps onto the hood of the nearest parked car, then the roof, keeping pace with Steve as he slowly advances. In the back of his mind, the armour is pushing the lobster ball even further down the street. It takes out another set of lobsters, and he tracks where he is compared to the others, communicator signals blinking dots on his map of New York streets. Peter is lagging behind the most, and he gives the lobster ball one last push before taking a quick zigzag over in his direction.
*Spider-Man,* Tony says, *swap streets.*
"You just think my lobsters are tastier than yours," Peter accuses, giving the armour the thumbs up as he swings past in the opposite direction.
*I don't think I'm going to be eating lobster again for a very long time,* Tony says, and sets about blasting Peter's lobsters down the street towards the river.
His physical body has jumped another three cars to keep up with Steve, slowly but surely pushing his lobsters back. A noise to his right catches his attention, a diner full of patrons plastered to glass windows and watching, without care for their own safety. One of them is pointing at him, and he shakes himself and looks away, jumping to the next car.
*If you can get this one back and to the right you'll take out the next lobster too,* Tony says to Steve.
Steve doesn't reply, frustration in the line of his body as he hurls his shield again, but the lobster goes staggering back and to the right, tumbling into the one behind it and both of them going down.
"Easy, kitty kitty," someone says behind him, soft, Tony not paying attention as he scans the area for the most advantageous direction Steve can shove his next lobster. "Come on, just let me-"
Someone grabs him, hands tight around his midsection, and Tony yowls, scrabbling furiously and lashing out with claws.
*Steve!* he yells, panicked, and then whoever it is drops him as Tony scores a particularly vicious scratch down the back of their hand. He streaks towards Steve, who has turned in his direction, the next lobster a little way off and no immediate threat.
He circles behind Steve's legs, turning and hissing at his attacker. It's the guy from the diner, who is swearing and shaking out his injured hand.
"It's not safe out here, you should go back inside," Steve tells him, voice raised to carry. "Also, don't touch the kitten."
"Just trying to get her to safety," the guy mutters, but he goes.
"Can you stay out of trouble for one minute?" Steve asks Tony wearily, and Tony mrows plaintively.
*I was staying out of trouble!* he complains. *If that guy hadn't - okay, lobster time.*
He gets out of the way as Steve moves forward to intercept the lobster, finding another line of parked cars to watch from - on the other side of the street. There are no more surprises, though, and by the time the Avengers converge on the point the lobsters had been leaving the river they are already retreating, scuttling back into the river, leaving their fallen behind.
"Where the hell were they coming from?" Luke demands. His shirt has been reduced to shreds, although his sunglasses are still in place, albeit scratched.
"Wherever giant lobsters live?" Peter asks, flicking a stray piece of shell from his shoulder. Tony, sitting on Steve's shoulder, ducks as it flies past.
"I can find out," Tony says, and the armour dives into the river after them. He follows the flickering motions of the final lobster a hundred yards towards the ocean, and then there is a blur of colour and motion and when everything clears it's gone.
Tony circles the spot, doing scan after scan, but it all comes to the same conclusion: nothing.
*You're not going to believe this,* he says, finally. *They just vanished. There's no energy residue here, nothing to indicate a portal of any kind, or a cloaked ship, or anything at all. There's just, nothing. Like they were never here.*
Tony swivels his head to check, but the strewn debris of fallen lobsters over the streets indicates that a similar disappearance has not affected the remaining lobsters on land.
"That's disturbing," Peter says. "Seriously. Anyone else find that disturbing? I mean, giant lobsters the size of buses don't just vanish."
"Apparently, they do," Tony says, wading out of the river, water sheeting off the armour.
"Well, shit," Luke says, looking at the armour. "Are they going to come back?"
The armour shrugs. "Hell if I know," Tony says.
Luke takes the non-answer at face value, nodding and glancing around. His gaze falls on Tony, sitting on Steve's shoulder. "Hey," he says. "Hey, Cap. Why do you have a kitten?"
***
Peter says he'll make his own way back to the Tower, but the armour gives both Steve and Luke a lift back, one under each arm, Steve with Tony cradled carefully in the crook of his arm. Steve's still annoyed, Tony can tell with how he barely said two words while Peter told Luke all about Tony's current status as a kitten, but the arm holding him is gentle, safe. Despite smelling really quite a lot like lobster, Steve is still very warm, and underneath it all, he still smells like Steve.
When they land on the roof Luke sniffs a few times and declares he is going to spend the rest of the day in the shower scrubbing off lobster. Steve nods as he leaves, and then it's just him and Tony, and silence.
*You should have a shower too,* Tony says. *The lobster is kind of strong.*
Steve nods and heads through the door, the armour following. Once inside Tony sends it towards the elevator, where it can go back down to the lab, sluice off, and then disassemble. Steve goes straight for his room, setting Tony down on the chair next to the bed and walking into the bathroom. The door closes firmly behind him, and Tony stares at it. There's the odd thunk of metal on plaster that would be the shield being lent against the wall, the rustle of clothes hitting the floor, and then water rushing through pipes.
"Tony," Steve says after a minute, voice coming through soft on the private channel, "why did you come to the fight?"
Tony pokes delicately at a loose thread with one of his claws. *I'm an Avenger,* he says. *Once an Avenger-*
"Always an Avenger," Steve finishes. "I know, but Tony - you're a kitten. You could have been hurt."
*I didn't get hurt,* Tony says. *Steve, I was fine. I will be fine. I'm not just - I'm not going to sit here and not help.*
"That guy grabbed you," Steve says. "I thought-" He breaks off, silence for a few moments. "I'm going to wash my hair," he says. "I'll be back in a second."
The line goes dead, and Tony prowls around the chair. He should go do... something else, somewhere else, but he can't tinker with his armour and anyway, the garage is probably going to smell like lobster for the next five hours. Steve put him on the chair, though, and Steve - well, it means something to Tony that out of all of them, Steve's the only one wearing his communicator at all times. Even when he's sleeping.
The line clicks open and Tony stops circling and sits down facing the door.
"When the guy grabbed you," Steve says, never one to back down from a topic, "I thought a lobster had hit you. I don't want you to get hurt."
*I'm not - Steve, that guy was just a guy. The lobsters never got near me. Kittens can run pretty fast.*
"That's not the point," Steve says, frustration lacing his tone. "You're a kitten and you shouldn't have been there."
Tony blinks. *You... don't want me to help.*
"I want you to help. I don't want you to get hurt because you're a kitten and can't protect yourself," Steve says. In the bathroom, the water shuts off.
Tony picks at the end of the loose thread. *I can handle it,* he says. *I'm not going to get hurt.*
"Tony-"
*You can't just cut me out,* Tony says. Steve had come to him first, when he wanted to restart the Avengers, and that meant something, right?
"I'm not trying to cut you out," Steve says. His voice is muffled, odd rustling underlying his words; Tony guesses he's toweling his hair. "I'm trying to stop you getting hurt because you are a kitten."
Tony hears 'kitten', and behind that he hears 'heart condition' and 'recovering alcoholic' and 'been mind-controlled too many times'. *Steve, I can't - this is what I do. This is who I am.* It was always going to be something, but Tony's gotten used to the hand he gets dealt. *I'm not going to let this stop me doing my job.*
"You don't have to let it," Steve says. "You were remote-piloting the armour today - why couldn't you pilot it from here?"
Tony blinks, processing. Steve doesn't want him fighting with the others. Doesn't want him there. *If you don't want me around you just have to say so,* he says.
"That is not what I said," Steve says, and then the door to the bathroom wrenches open, Steve haloed in steam, towel around his waist and hair standing up in messy spikes. "Tony, I do want you around. You're part of the team. I just want you to look after yourself for a change."
Tony's going to reply, he really is, because he does look after himself, it's just that other things are more important than him, only his kitten body decides then to remind him that a)he is a kitten and b)kittens get hungry, especially kittens who have just hitched rides to a battlezone with giant lobsters and then raced all over the road. He makes a noise that he will deny with his last breath ever making, it's that pitiful, and Steve frowns.
"Tony? You okay?"
*I'm hungry again,* Tony says, dropping his head onto his paws and groaning.
Steve sighs. "Let me put some clothes on," he says, "and I'll get you some food."
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