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cap_ironman2009-01-02 04:09 pm
[Fanfic, R] Tony's Twenty Answers
Title: Tony's Twenty Answers
Character: Tony Stark
Warning: Uber!Crack-answer-fic
Summary: Doc Samson asked Steve to do a list of things that scare him, but Steve left the list lying open on his desk!
Tony stumbled over it, read it, and wrote an answer list - just as weird!
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mizuko060 ;) Weirdness Ahoy!!
Dear Steve,
I think I can put your mind at ease... There's no need for you to be afraid.
(Well, almost none.)
As for 20 – even if I were turned into a toddler, and forgot all about you, I'd love you; let me show you pictures from my first babysitter and bodyguard one day, and you'll understand what I mean. Apparently I've always loved the blond, tall, kindhearted type.
19... Definitely NOT. At least for my part.
Maybe if he was posing as Billy Idol, singing Flesh For Fantasy, but definitely not for Rod Stewart.
18... Hm. We could still try virtual reality – you'd be amazed what's possible in there.
Don't worry for #17 hon, I'm not the Red Skull... I'm Dr Doom.
Well, nightmare 16 might be a problem, but I think I'd find ways to wake you up again. Good ways...
Uhm, 15... I'd get used to it. Eventually. Somehow. In time. Maybe.
14 – Like I'd ever do that! How pervert do you think I am?
(You know how hard it is to film when you only have got one hand free? But why Logan, I wonder... Should I be worried?)
13... Honey, you are such an over the top patriot I don't know if I should love or hate you for it... Good thing though we abraded the Made in Germany engraving before you woke up. (Just kidding!)
12. Again, I'd never do that!
What are you think of me? I'm not that egoistical, of course I'd share!
Now, about 11, I think I'd survive it; I don't like my birthday anyway, for it reminds me that I'm getting old and older. Really, you forgetting my birthday would be half as bad as you think it might be. Who wants to be 40?
#10 – hu? Why is this on you nightmare list? Must be a mistake... Moved it to our wish list, hehe.
As for me, 9 isn't that bad – no, I'm not being suicidal, but think about it, this way, even in death I'd be a part of you. Now that's a nice way to go.
8.... Steve, I love to eat any cake done by you, with or without icing, even the ones with raisins; but if you want, we can go out and plant some sugar cane in the backyard tomorrow, just in case.
Rest assured. #7 won't ever happen.
Well, Unless you want me to. For you I'd even get dreads, even if it means I would have to redesign all my helmets.
Honey, I'd personally hunt the guy down who did #6 to you and teach him how to write properly... Amongst doing other, very painful things to him.
5.... Hm, I will hate myself for it, but I hereby promise you faithfully,
If we ever consider having kids of our own, I will be the one carrying them out.
So no more nightmares about pregnancy and giving birth.
(By the way, I never knew my mustaches scares you that much... It's not hereditary nor contagious, but maybe I should shave it off if it gives you nightmares?)
Reading #4 made me think a lot, but I'm sure - even if I were turned into an amazonian goddess of war and murder, ripping my lover's head off after mating and killing every XY on the planet - I would spare you, for I could never kill you, no matter how crazy I would be.
(But I'd have to turn you into a woman as well, I hope you wouldn't mind it too much? I'm sure you'd be incredible hot as a female, a dream coming true – but you don't have to worry, I like you the best the way you are, no tampering with your DNA while you sleep. Promise.
Double D super breasts in chain mail can't tempt me. At least not much.)
For #3 on your list, all I can point out is that Nick is always cheating, no matter what game he's playing - which is why he doesn't lose. I think he's even cheating when playing against himself. So, unless you're better at cheating than him, I think you should be safe.
(Uhm... You are not better at cheating than him, are you? Now that thought scares me, honestly...)
What on earth happened to make you think of #2?! Steve, if my parents were still alive, they'd adopt you the second they'd get to know you! You're the most charming, most goodhearted, most perfect man in the whole world – I should be the one having nightmares, about them trying to snatch you away from me! (And do you honestly think I'd give a damn about what my parents say when it comes to the man I love? I'd stay by your side you, screw their blessing!)
And for the last point on your list...
Likeliness of the world coming to an end within our lifetime: 78%
Likeliness of the Skrulls coming to their senses and leaving us the hell alone: 43%
Likeliness of anybody ever dying coming back to live: 62%
Likeliness of us waking up one day, looking at each other, and finding we have completely forgotten how much we love each other: -000000000,1%
0. I love you, you horrible dork, I love you so much I don't know how to make you believe it, so you don't have to hide your fears from me – that's what lovers are there for!
Don't be afraid, I'm here.
[Poll #1324140]
[Poll #1324140]
no subject
Haha...I could NEVER imagine Steve with a Barbara Streisand nose.....just.............no.
And again, 1 and 2 and 0 were so cute. Tony calling him a horrible dork, and having him reassure STEVE for a change, (cause let's face it...Steve ISN'T perfect and he has fears of his own). I think Tony's parents really WOULD adopt Steve, but not before disowning Tony and making it very clear that Steve was his replacement. But Steve wouldn't go for that, no he wouldn't, and he'd politely tell them off and take his Tony and leave, never looking back! *nods*
And the cheeseburger one was strangely sweet. Awwww, Tony. You WOULD be a part of him....until you turned into poo.......THEN you'd be part of the sewer system! :D But I get what you're sayin' and that's cute. ^^
*applauds* This was GREAT! And as for the poll....I think a Steve response would be fun, but I think a Tony's 20 worst nightmares would be even better! XD
no subject
Lolz, I don't know much about Tony's parents, but sure enough, Steve's a though opponent when it comes to parental love :)
Glad you liked it! And no, for Tony! XD!
no subject
Although the first part of #4 made me D:.
no subject
I've an idea for a deaged Tony story.
no subject