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cap_ironman2009-01-03 12:59 pm
[Fanfic, R] My Twenty Worst Nightmares, Tony
Title: My Twenty Worst Nightmares - Tony Stark
Character: Tony Stark
Warning: Just a tiny bit of a Crack-fic
Summary: Doc Samson asked Steve to do a list of things that scare him., and Steve wrote a list, which he left lying open, with Tony stumbling over it. Of course Tony did read it, and wrote a list in return, meant to cheer Steve up - but his lover was rather upset about having him find out about his worst nightmares.
So, to fix things, Tony came up with a brilliant plan - he'll confess is 20 worst nightmares to Steve in turn!
Steve's nightmares
Tony's answers
______________________________________________________________________________
TONY!
This was a private list, and not meant for your eyes!
You're being mean and sneaky! How could you!
______________________________________________________________________________
Sorry Steve...
It was just lying there, open, and so I thought... I'm sorry, I really am!
How about I tell you about my twenty worst nightmares in turn? It's only fair I guess...
But don't you dare to laugh at me!
Well, so... Where do I start?
20. Aunt Huberta coming back from the dead – she used to call me her sweet cute baby boobie Anty and would pinch and hug me to her horrendous big bosom until I fainted. She also made me eat self made peppermint-caramel bonbons, horrible stuff, my teeth are still hurting.
19. Realizing I've been colorblind since birth, and finding my armors have never been red-gold as I thought, but pastel-pink-gold.
18. Being back in high school and getting a B- in physics.
17. You dumping me for Sharon, Clint or Bucky.
17. You dumping me for one of my ex-lovers.
17. You dumping me.
16. Pepper calling in sick and leaving me alone to deal with the whole mess that is Stark Corp's administration.
15. Reed joining the Avengers and constantly outsmarting me.
14. The coffee machine breaking down on a holiday and me not being able to fix it.
13. The furniture talking to me. Again.
13. The furniture talking to me again and me and the arm chair having a spirited conversation about polish.
12. Having to cook a four-course menu for a hypercritical alien evil overlord, earth being destroyed if I don't get the panna cotta right.
11. You finding my Captain America dildo and not being amused at all.
10. Armor prototype #423.A activating itself and you finding out just how bored, lonesome and pathetic I was at times before we got together.
9. Coffee, chocolate and Cookies being prohibited.
8. Waking up as a toy poodle one morning.
7. Getting nothing but hand-knit llama wool socks and Austrian marzipan pigs for Christmas.
7. Getting nothing for Christmas and don't know why.
7. Getting nothing for Christmas and knowing I don't deserve any better and why.
6. The people of America deciding via referendum that Nick Fury shall be our chaperon, rooming with us to protect your virtue, with the license to castrate me.
5. Finding my first white hair and you making fun of me for wanting to dye my hair.
5. Finding my first white hair and you making fun of me.
5. Finding my first white hair.
4. You finding out just what Stark Satellite Ceta Alpha Nine.1's job is, and why it's camera is focused on our bedroom window.
3. Me trying to get into my armor one day and a 'DANGER! Too fat for armor!' sign lighting up.
2. Whole-body hair waxing. Done by the Illuminati.
1.You having read this list to the end and still being mad with me for reading your list.
1.You having read this list to the end and thinking I'm an idiot and hating me.
1.You having read this list to the end and being disappointed me for being too scared to admit that my worst nightmare will always be losing you.
Yours, Tony
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This is the perfect mix of humor and fluff that I would expect from Tony. The number one fear is the clincher. So, of course, now Steve has to reply... -_^
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#3, oh my god!!! Do you mnd if I do a drabble relating that and #9?
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Rofl, poor Tony, too fat for armor nightmares must be really bad - though Steve would probably be dreadful understanding and endearing, no matter how obese Tony got *lol* Please please please, use the world lovehandles at least one in your drabble! I so <3 this word *giggle* *^.^* So looking forward!
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MA:A is lighter and fluffier than NA, but NA has got more mean characters to use, like lucas and wolvie XD
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Although now I'm very curious as to what 423.A does, and exactly what a Captain America dildo looks like. o_o;
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I think I'll pass - either it's disturbingly weird, or disturbingly hot...
Or both! XD! And I'm guilty of writing way to many pwps already *lol*
But, maybe those two combined are finally the answer to Movie!Tony's ominous This is not the worst thing you caught me doing line =)?
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Na, I was more thinking of the raving rabbids - gotta love these *rofl*
Bunnies can't milk cows - but they can write CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!
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So. True.
//11. You finding my Captain America dildo and not being amused at all.//
FFF I BET TONY MADE IT HIMSELF (and I bet he gave one to Carol haha)
//3. Me trying to get into my armor one day and a 'DANGER! Too fat for armor!' sign lighting up.//
Damn it people keep reminding me of that "what if Iron Man had an eating problem instead of a drinking problem" comic XD
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YES
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The icon comes from someone's DeviantArt work. Check my icon page for the proper credit (isn't it hilarious?)
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and YESSSS DO A SEQUEL
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I'm not sure it'll be a comic. Probably just a story. But I totally want the whole Stane arc represented here.
"If you were me, Cap, you'd know I have to eat..." Heh.
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Bhahahaha! XD
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