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cap_ironman2010-03-01 07:32 pm
objectivelyp1nk.livejournal.com) wrote in cap_ironman2010-03-01 07:32 pm
Entry tags:
The picspam continues + a drabble
Bones!AU drabbles:
Tony has a habit of talking to himself as he works, he knows that. It isn't something he cares about though-- it's his lab interns' problem, not his, and they generally either ignore it, pretend he's talking to them, or quit.
"Lateral fractures along the left fibula," he murmurs. Someone clears their throat behind him and he ignores it. "Definitely post mortem. Hmm, and that's post mortem, too."
"Excuse me, Doctor Stark?"
Tony holds up the skeleton's sternum-- what's left of the sternum, anyway. There's a small hole a centimeter from the edge that definitely occurred when the victim was still alive. "Not projectile. Stabbing?"
"Doctor Stark."
Tony hands the piece of bone to the intern-of-the-week. "Have Hank swab the hole for particulates, the weapon might've left something embedded in the bone."
"Doctor Stark, if I could have a moment of your time."
Jesus Christ, did the FBI just not know how to take a hint? Tony heaves a sigh. "What do you want?" he asks, not bothering to turn around and continues to study the skeleton on the table in front of him.
"I'm Steve Rogers at the FBI, I'm here to offer to--"
"Look, Steve, I'm sure you're a great guy and good at your job and all that. But I've made my position clear-- I only work with Rhodey."
There's the slightest exhale of air that might, possibly, be an indication of extreme annoyance. Not that Tony cares. "Look, Stark, I'm doing you a favor!"
"Oh, really?" Tony says snidely, finally bothering to turn around and face this annoyance and-- oh sweet Jesus on toast. Tony forgets what he's about to say in the face of this six-foot-two vision of masculinity. Athletic, blond, chiseled jaw and intense blue eyes-- why hasn't anyone warned him that the FBI has people that look like they just walk off the set of the good kind of porn?
And then he realizes that the criminally good-looking agent is still talking.
"...Fury told me that you could be an asset in the field, but I'm not going to put up with this kind of attitude, no matter what you can--"
"You know," Tony interrupts, "You should really call me Tony if we're going to work together."
Steve blinks at him. "What?"
Tony takes off his right glove so he can shake hands. "Nice to meet you, Steve," he says with his most charming smile.
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It totally IS awesome AND cccrazy. XD
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Damn, now I want to read a fic about Tony seducing Steve by singing Lady Gaga. While wearing Gaga glasses. XD
"C-c-c-crazy (crazy), get your ass in my bed"
"I don't understand your 21st century ways, Tony."
"It means 'come here and bend over'."
"...Okay."
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Steve: Hank, were there psychotropics or hallucinogenics in this morning's fog?
Hank: (blinks) I don't think so...
Steve: Okay, good. I'm going back to my room. (leaves, the team stares after him)
Jan: Is that Lady Gaga playing?
Peter: It's coming from Cap's room, WTF?
Hank: Lady who?
Jan: And has anyone seen Tony today?
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Peter: "What do you think they're doing?"
Hank: "I don't know. I left my Kama Sutra at home."
Jan: "Let's check it out."
*five minutes later*
Peter: "Oh my God."
Hank: "Oh my God."
Jan: "DAYUM."
Tony: "You've got me wondering why I, I like it rough I, I like it rough I, I like it rough..."
Steve: "Shiny and I know it, don't know why you wanna blow it..."
Peter & Hank: "..."
Jan: "Double DAYUM."
Jarvis: "Sirs, and milady, would you please be quiet? I can't quite hear what's going on."
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