cap_ironman | A gift for cookinguptales

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A gift for cookinguptales

I told you I hadn't forgotten. :3

Assassin of Gods and Inhibitions
By

valtyr
Rating: NC17
Warnings (highlight to read): Teeny tiny dubcon by way of sex pollen, and also Porn.
Series: Marvel Adventures: Avengers
Pairings: Steve/Tony, Jan/Ororo, Thor/Ororo/Jan/Luke

Summary: Tony hangs a box of mistletoe around the mansion, hoping to get a kiss from Steve. However, Thor knows his old enemy and predicts Dire Consequences to come from the bedecking. Maybe Tony should have listened to Thor after all. Or maybe not. (~6,500 words)

Note: A huge thanks to

valtyr, who beat me, whipped me, dragged me through the fire and then beta'd my fic. Dedicated to

cookinguptales, who requested something like this.

Read it on AO3

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omg I have had literally the worst couple weeks ever and then I woke up from a nap and this was in my inbox and jesus christ, I love you. YOUR TIMING IS AWESOME.

I loved this so much~ which is kind of expected but really. Evil mistletoe! With sex pollen! And really, really hot porn! :DD I am so on board with this! And it was so sweet, too. I just want to hug them all and love them.

This reply doesn't make a lot of sense but I just woke up and there was porn and you broke me, so you really only have yourself to blame.

I hope it was a good breaking, at least, and I'm glad I got good timing for you too. (hugs) Valtyr's the one who made me get it done, so you should thank her most. She dragged me kicking and crying through the editing process.

Oh, yes. It was a very enjoyable breaking. (And good god, that really sounds like the tagline to a porno, doesn't it? Rational thought is slowly returning to me.)

DEAR VALTYR, WHEREVER YOU ARE, THANK YOU. THIS WAS AWESOME. :P

I don't know if that sounds exceptionally helpful or terrifying, tbqh.

It does sound like a porn tagline, but an awesome tagline.

It was a little bit of both, to tell you the truth. D:

Awesome porn taglines are my favorite thing. One of these days I need to start writing down the summaries that playboy has on our tv guide back home. We don't even have the channel but we still sometimes go through the summaries for ones like "A stirring rendition of Jane Austen's Emma, except with different plot, characters, and dialogue." and it was like BIG BUSTY BABES 17. They have fun with it, I think.

*loves and pets* It was all worth it in the end, though, right?

I would love a porno version of Jane Austen. (I also make a hobby out of surprising no one.) At least there is always fanfic.

Well, you liked it, which was entirely the point. So yes. :D

Haha. I imagine dirty, raunchy fanfic in the same vein as old Victorian porn. It pretty much is literotica quality, but there is a soft spot in my heart.

Eeeee, you are so sweet. I don't think I've ever had porn dedicated to me before! Blamed on me, perhaps, but never dedicated. :P

It was a gift. Gifts get dedicated. Plot bunnies which are shared until they turn rabid and bite out someone's throat get blamed.

Is that why valtyr gets blamed and I get gifts? :D?

*I say this in love, as I cry over the fics I'm working on now because of her. :(((

(hugs of shared horror)

She is an enabler. :| My next fic? Is hers. Okay, she bought it from me fair and square, but still. One day we should hold a contest and see who has the most Valtyr-blamed fics.

(

muccamukk should get double points for her unicorn fic, since that was supposed to be a 5k auction fic and it turned into a big bang.)

Sob sob.

I'm still wibbling on whether to sign up for the big bang or not, but if I do, the fic I'm doing is her fault. :((( So desolate. But at least having an idea is somewhat comforting.

): but I have already committed to beta that fic, and am full of happy squee about it!

~~omg you are terrifying every time I talk to you I want to write something~~

I WILL MOST LIKELY DO IT but stuff has come up and I worry about my ability to finish. :((( I don't want to leave anyone hanging.

Oh, but if you drop out before you get an artist, you don't leave anyone hanging! You have until July the 31st to complete the first draft of a 25k fic. That's... like a hundred days from now. That's 250 words a day. Isn't that really quite a teeny amount? That's one, maybe two paragraphs. And then you have a whole extra month to polish and work on it!

If you get to the 31st July and decide you cannot finish in time, you aren't letting anyone down by dropping out. :) I encourage everyone who thinks they might be able to do it to give it a try.

Villain Tony! Villaining about the place in tight black leather! Poor Steve, trying to subvert him to the side of Good and being seduced by his own boyfriend!

Green and black, even. I did research into what AIM's Scientist Supremes wear. Actually, the thing that pushed it from short story into epic was the moment I realized that Tony would have to contend with Monica for leadership of his faction and omg epic. Especially considering I see evil!Tony as being big on sexual harassment, and last I checked, Monica kills/maims her followers for that. idk if that guy lived. >.>

I WILL CONSIDER IT OKAY. I am almost definitely going to do it, I just don't want to promise anything for a little while. :(

OMG evil!Tony is going to be a terror.

Why not start writing your 250 words a day now? It's still two weeks til signups end, but you can get started and see how it shapes up. :) If you do that, you'll have almost four thousands words by the time signups end! You'll feel much more confident about it then.

You have no idea.

I'm going to go with "because I have to write like 20+ pages for school before sign up ends and also life is conspiring against me right now". D: I'll know about where I stand with things by the end of April, though, which is why I'm holding off judgment for a little while.

Aw, that sounds pretty rough. Still! There will still be lots of time. Hope you can make it! Your fic sounds ace. ♥

I will definitely let you know! :) I will hold you to that beta thing because god knows I need one.

*retrospect* I have got to stop having extended conversations with people on other people's posts. I am sorry, tsukinofaerii. D:

This post achieved 21 comments. That's as many as two tens and a one! And that's wonderful.

I don't mind having my inbox blown up at all. Carry on!

You will be DISTURBED by how quickly 25k can roll by. Seriously.

But if you can't make the deadline for a bang, the obvious solution is just to Write it ANYWAY and then make sad eyes at the community until someone gives you art. :D

I know I definitely have enough fic to fill up 25k words! Probably a good deal more than that, tbh. I'm just worried about tiiiiime. Deadlines are hard. :(

Your Plan B bears thought. There is at least one person on my life that I can probably badger into giving me fanart if just because I whiiine and then she spoils me. It's a great relationship.

That's some of the pressure off, I suppose.

Deadlines are BEAUTIFUL. Especially low-stress ones. It is a goal to aim for, without anything lost if you just can't. You can do eet!

what amaze me about Valtyr is how smooth she is.

you're chatting with her and everything and having fun bouncing ideas and you wake up an hour laters realising you're writing a fic she talked you into.

note I don't have much room to complain. She's only responsible for the one fic yet.

and while I signed up for bigbang my insecurities held fast and I'm finishing my 10k and counting epic for it. (I'll end up writting teen!Tony traumatising the New Avengers anyway, but it won't be 25k)

Yes. Yes it is.

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A gift for cookinguptales

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