![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
the-oke.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
cap_ironman2009-01-01 07:10 pm
[Fanfic, R] My Twenty Worst Nightmares, Steve
Title: My Twenty Worst Nightmares
Character: Steve Rogers
Warning: Uber!Crack-fic
Summary: Doc Samson asked Steve to do a list of things that scare him... He probably was expecting something else.
AN: And the crackbunny said, let there be madness!
Hope you like it, you nutty thing :P Prompt. Prompt?
20. Tony being turned into a toddler and being dead afraid of me, starting to cry just on seeing me from afar.
19. Kang the conqueror singing Rod Stewart's Do ya think I'm sexy in our bedroom whilst we're making love, and us being turned on by it.
18. The serum failing, me turning old and feeble in seconds, Viagra not yet being invented.
17. Tony revealing himself to be the Red Skull.
17. Tony revealing himself to be the Red Skull, and me still thinking he's drop-dead gorgeous and wanting to nail him on the kitchen table.
16. Falling asleep whilst Tony is stripping for me.
15. Janet talking me into having a rhinoplasty to look like Barbara Streisand.
14. Getting caught by Thor wearing high heels and stockings
14. Getting caught by Logan wearing high heels and stockings and him wanting to mate with me.
14. Getting caught by Logan wearing high heels and stockings, him wanting to mate with me, Tony walking onto us and wanting to film us.
13. Finding a 'Made in Japan' engraving on my shield
12. Walking onto Tony doing it with ten Swedish super model in a swinging hot tub - ten MALE Swedish super models – without asking me to join in.
11. Forgetting Tony's birthday.
11. Remembering Tony's birthday and having nothing but a empty chocolate box to give him.
10. Iron Man doing me from behind, bent over a fireplug, in front of the white house, with the president and all congressmen and women.
9. Tony being turned into a burger by Dr Strange and me accidentally eating him.
8. Having to bake a red-gold-blue-white three-tier cake for our wedding and running out of icing sugar.
7. Tony dying his hair platinum blond.
6.Waking up and finding somebody tattooed bittch on my forehead.
(Dyslexia is the ruin of this country.)
5. Having, out of the blue, given birth to a thirty pound blond boy with a gigantic black mustache, who's smoking cigarettes and yelling at me 'Yo Ma, I'm Steve junior, nice to meet you biatch!'
4.Tony being turned into a woman and waging war on men, starting with me.
3. Having to play chess against Nick Fury.
3. Having to play chess against Nick Fury and win.
2. Tony introducing me to his parents, who after talking to me for two minutes declare me a complete failure and unfit for their son and refuse to give us their blessing.
1. Me and Tony waking up one day, and look at each other, and find we have completely forgotten how much we love each other, and why we did get together.
0. Tony finding this list.
no subject
Oh my gosh, did Steve write this sober? And if not, I want a tale of ho he ended up not sober. Oh dear god.
Number 10 kills me.
Number 10 probably would turn Tony on. I can so see Tony trying to have sex with Steve in the white house (Elly and I have alrady decided the should join the 10 mile high club . . . on the hellacarrier =P)
And number 1 and 2 are Awwwwww Poor Steve.
no subject
Though, on a second thought Ö.Ö - ENVY!Maria Hill!! XD
Ah, I think Steve wrote this sober (does alcohol work on him? hm, gotta google that). I like to think of Steve as a person who's taking things waaay to literally and being so honest it hurts - I always imagine him a bit like Discworld's Carrot XD Too good to be good ;)
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
These are SO freakin' bizarre, but the 1 and 2 are so heartbreaking I just want to hug Steve and tell him it's all a dream. *hugs Steve anyway*
And I'm very.....VEEEEERY disturbed by #9 for some reason. D: Oh noez! TONY!
You've GOT to write a spin-off fic that involves number 0. You MUST! XD
no subject
(O.O I wonder what Tony!Burger would taste like? Yummy? Spicy? Sweet? :)
no subject
(Tony burger....hmmmmmmmm. I'm thinking there's an ingredient in there that gives it a kick when you first bite into it, but after chewing, maybe there's some honey mustard or something that gives it an almost sweet flavor. ^^ *is bemoaning her lost opportunity to be a chef and make the perfect Tony!burger*) XD
no subject
Noes, now I've got a overprotective!Steve and perfectburger!Tony in my head, dancing waltz and drinking cherry soda! Whaaaaaaa! helps! XD
no subject
no subject
no subject
"MATING" lolol
//7. Tony dying his hair platinum blond.//
Clearly Steve didn't read "Execute Program"
no subject
But he's golden then, and fortunately it's not permanent- but real bleach blond Tony would be too much to bear XD [Though, him and Emma Frost would look rather good together, posing for the world domination champain 2009 XD]
no subject
Tony and Emma are my other fantasy heterOTP (Tony/Ms.Marvel being #1)
no subject
no subject