cap_ironman | Short fic, Steve/Tony, non-explicit

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Short fic, Steve/Tony, non-explicit

So I was reading a discussion of Tony's previous abusive relationships here at

kijikun's lj, and I ficced a little. An hour's worth, un beta'd, so read at your own risk and do please point out if I've made any horrible errors.

598 words, R rated, non explicit slash.

He knows Steve's angry with him, can feel the tension in the air as they drive back from the party. His hands are sweating on the wheel. He's virtually certain Steve won't hit him, whether he deserves it or not - and really, a little flirting hardly rates it - but Steve might push him around a little. Years of throwing supervillains about have left them all pretty comfortable with using violence to resolve problems. He might just shout, of course. That would certainly be better than the silent treatment he's getting now. A quick glance shows him Steve staring straight ahead, a slight frown on his face. The silence doesn't give him anything he can get hold of - shouting would give him a chance to deflect, perhaps push him into physical contact, and then it's a small step to getting him into bed. A faint shiver passes through him at the thought of angry Steve and rough sex. The three weeks since they began sleeping together have been totally devoid of arguments; it's about time he pissed Steve off. Not that it had really been his fault, of course.

The elevator takes them up to the penthouse, where Hank is asleep on the couch in front of the TV. Steve covers him with a blanket and Tony switches the TV off, and they creep up the stairs in the dark and quiet. At least Hank's presence means Tony won't be exiled to the couch. Even the silent treatment's better than that.
In Steve's bedroom, he's grabbed round the waist and pulled back tight against Steve's chest. His heart trips a little at the immovable arms around his waist; Steve's lips at his neck tilt him in the direction of excitement rather than fear, and he leans his head back with a little sound of pleasure, trying to gauge Steve's mood. Steve's mouthing the place where his neck and shoulder join, using his teeth just a little, and Tony's not sure if he's biting a little harder than he usually would. Is that how Steve gets angry? Just gets rougher? That's not so bad, as long as Tony never pisses him off too much, and really, even then - he doesn't really want to examine that thought too hard, because while he'd let Steve use him pretty much anyway he liked, he couldn't imagine Steve continuing to date anyone he'd put in the hospital, and the fact that it wouldn't be the first time for Tony probably wouldn't reassure him at all. Steve can be ridiculously protective, after all.

On the other hand, he's a lot more durable than he used to be. He just can't see *Steve* losing it enough to hurt him badly, not even as angry as Tony can get people.
"Tony?" Steve's voice is very soft in his ear, and Tony pricks up his ears, listening for clues. "It's been a long day. You tired?" Tony hesitates for only a second; the fact Steve's got a hard-on makes it pretty clear what answer he's looking for, but he's not sure if there's a dig hidden in the 'long day' remark. He turns his head towards Steve, kisses his cheek.
"Oh, I think I'll be up a while longer." He doesn't stress the double entendre, but feels Steve smile against his skin. That's good; perhaps Steve will just let this one pass. He turns into Steve, grabs his shirt, kisses him hard, and as Steve begins to maneuver him towards the bed, notes with faint relief that his hands are as gentle as ever.

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*huggles Tony* Poor Tony. Nice little fic, hope you expand. *pleading eyes* More needs to be done with Tony's fears on this.

IAWTC.

Seriously, you only have to look at Tony's fanfics to know he attracts abuse...
Thank you, for commenting and the initial inspiration. :) I'm doubtful about expanding on it, because these are the kind of issues that take major working through; I'm not sure I could write it without minimizing the problems involved. But it is really interesting!

I AGREE! MOAR!!!

Very lovely. I like Tony's close line-walking between fear and masochism.

Thank you. That's what I was going for, so I'm glad it worked.

Oh, poor Tony.

In the absence of outside agents, he will beat up on himself. Oh, *Tony*.

AHAHAHAHAAAA!

It's sad because it's canon...

Poor Tony, Steve's going to be shock if he can hear Tony's thoughts.

Years of throwing supervillains about have left them all pretty comfortable with using violence to resolve problems.

That is true though, habits, and they are all so much tougher than normal humans (with the exception of Tony).

Oh, lord, I talked about the habit of inflicting violence in a fic about the habit of expecting violence. I wish I could claim that was deliberate - it's like the opposite of a typo, looking back to find you accidentally did something mildly clever!

Thanks for commenting, much appreciated!

I love this look into Tony's headspace, and the juxtaposition of Steve's actions to Tony's expectations.

I can only imagine what Steve's reaction would be if he found out what Tony was thinking here -- how much he expects and accepts that anyone he's with will end up hurting him, because Steve would just be absolutely horrified.

But yeah, you did a really nice job on Tony's interior voice, and a very nice Steve, especially considering that we only get a few lines of description, and eight words from him.

I really like this little glimpse into Tony's psyche... it really does seem like him to expect the people he loves to hurt him, almost to the point of goading them into it. Which is one of the reasons I like Steve/Tony so much. If that makes sense because I'm tired and seem to be rambling. I'd like to see more of this, though, because of the awesome grasp you have on Tony, and apparently Steve too.

I'd go on, but I gotta dash. But yeah, good effort.

Oh, lovely!
In such a small space you managed to pack quite a punch! I like how everything that Tony's thinking sounds... normal, when it's actually quite twisted.

There should be more fics on this subject! *is an angst whore*

I love this idea, looking into Tony's learned helplessness when it comes to his relationships is awesome. (not that I WANT to feel fascinated by Tony's pain, I love the character, but you know...ehhehehheheh)
If I beg (and I will, very hard, maybe cry a little) will you expand on this, maybe if this sort of thing continues and Steve finds out and they have hurt/comfort sex? Honestly, these two are perfect hurt/comfort sex fodder!

Thank you. :) Learned helplessness is just the right way to put it.

I don't know about expanding it; I'm not sure I could deal with the issues properly in a longer story.

Also, I have gloomy visions of this fitting neatly into canon - after all, at the end of Civil War, Tony finally did goad Steve into beating the tar out of him. :(

This is a disturbingly believable insight into Tony and his view of (experience with) relationships. And yeah, I'd love to see Steve's POV when he finally catches a clue, because Steve doesn't have an abusive bone in his body, and Tony's expectations would be horrifying and incomprehensible to him.

motto.

I really like the look inside Tony head here, how, even though he trusts and loves Steve and is sure Steve wouldn't really want to hurt him, he's still expecting it because so many of his exes *have*, and isn't going to resist or do anything to stop it -- except maybe for some hopes fo turning it into rough sex. I think

autumn_lily called it learned helplessness, which is a very good description that I'm going to steal cause I can't think of anything equally clever.

while he'd let Steve use him pretty much anyway he liked, he couldn't imagine Steve continuing to date anyone he'd put in the hospital,

I simultaneously want to hug Tony and slap him upside the head. "I'd totally let Steve hit me if he wanted to, but woe, what of he then felt guilty and broke up with me."

I also have to wonder what Hank did to earn the couch from Jan. Or if he just fell asleep there because the discovery channel was having some kind of "top ten most dangerous insects" special.

Lift ought to be elevator [/American slang advice]

Ha, elevator, thanks. *is English*

I simultaneously want to hug Tony and slap him upside the head.

Well, hey, he's cool with that as long as you don't feel so bad you dump him. :( And maybe you will be extra nice to him for a while afterwards out of guilt, and that is pretty awesome.

It's the ten dangerous insects option. :) Jan will make tutting noises when he crawls into bed with cold feet at five am.

Thanks for commenting!

I really like this. Cap would be so horrified if he knew the thoughts going through Tony's head.

"because while he'd let Steve use him pretty much anyway he liked""because while he'd let Steve use him pretty much anyway he liked""because while he'd let Steve use him pretty much anyway he liked""because while he'd let Steve use him pretty much anyway he liked" is such a good line... I really hope you write a Steve POV when he realizes that Tony would think that he would ever hurt him

Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it. :) I might follow this up at some point, we'll have to see.

So I started wondering about Steve's take on the situation. Started out with him just baffled, but then his own insecurities slipped in, and next thing I knew, it was fic. Hope you like it!
~
Steve doesn't think Tony's upset with him, though it wouldn't surprise him. The party had been exhausting - too many people who want to be seen with Captain America, people who'd never look twice at Steve Rogers. He doesn't know how Tony does it; working the crowd, charming and flirting his way through people who'd happily stab him in the back - metaphorically speaking, that is.

Steve would be much more comfortable around the people who'd mean that literally. At least then he'd be able to be useful.

But this is what Tony does. This is politics, for all that it looks like a party, and Tony is an expert at it. Deals have been set in motion tonight, alliances made, compromises that will never show up in corporate records.

Steve had never really considered the toll it must take on him. Ideally Tony would have had someone there who could work with him - would have his back the way they have each other's in battle.

Steve will never be that person, no matter how hard he tries.

He doesn't think Tony's upset with him, but something has him on edge. He's been shooting nervous glances over at him as he drives. Steve doesn't know what to say, so he says nothing - just like he'd done at the party, surrounded by sycophants - and tries not to think about whether that was the problem. Driving usually relaxes Tony. Steve knows this well; he loves watching the way Tony drives, lost in the unity of man and machine, almost as symbiotic as when he's in the armor.

It doesn't seem to be working now, and Steve isn't sure what to do.

They're still silent when they reach the penthouse, slipping quietly past Hank, asleep on the couch. Steve's not sure if he's thankful or not - whatever is wrong between them, it's not going to spill out into a loud argument tonight.

Steve caches Tony just beyond the door to his bedroom, pulling him tight against his chest, running a line of kisses against his neck the way he's been wanting to do all night. Tony leans back with a soft sigh of pleasure, and yet there's a tenseness there that Steve isn't quite sure how to read. "Tony?" Steve says, softly. "It's been a long day. You tired?" It could just be that. It could be that he's been misreading everything since they got in the car, that Tony isn't upset with him at all - that he hates the parties just as much as Steve does, and doesn't blame him for not being good at socializing.

Tony turns and kisses his cheek - soft and careful, not the way anyone who doesn't know him like Steve does would ever expect from the notorious Tony Stark. "Oh, I think I'll be up a while longer." Steve smiles, relieved. Whatever happens out there, they'll always be able to work it out.

Oh, wow, this is really nice. I like the way Steve isn't quite sure if Tony is upset with him, and that he hadn't even registered Tony's flirting as any kind of threat. And wanting to be able to support Tony. <3

Thank you, I loved this!

Thanks! Stopping Tony from flirting is about as likely as stopping him from breathing; I've known people like that. Some of them were lucky enough to have partners who understood that - I think Steve would be one of them.

Oh boys.

I love this! It makes so much sense that Steve would have no clue that Tony would be worried /he/ was upset or angry.

Steve sees the best in people; that leaves him with a bit of a blind spot when other people don't - even when it's Tony. :)

Mmmm. This was delicious. One thing though, when you wrote "the fact Steve's got a hard-on makes it pretty clear what answer he's looking for" did you mean to imply that Tony would have sex with Steve even if he didn't want it, so long as that was what Steve wanted? The bit about letting Steve use him however he wanted adds weight to that interpretation, but maybe I'm reading too much into it.

It's certainly meant to be the implication; Tony's totally into Steve and wants to have sex, but he's more focused on giving Steve what Steve wants.

This Tony would be very, very disinclined to turn Steve down even if he didn't really feel like sex at all, and he'd let Steve hurt him without objecting.

I'm glad you enjoyed. :)

It's certainly meant to be the implication

I wondered, because no-one else seemed to notice it, or feel it was worth commenting on. This Tony doesn't really have much sense of self-worth does he?

Well... I think Tony, when he falls for someone, does tend to do it to unhealthy extremes. He tends to be self-abusive, with the hard drinking, over-working, and risk-taking. And he's had a fair few relationships where the women treated him pretty badly, and he was accepting of that. I think Tony - in canon - has a clear view of his abilities, but not of his qualities, if you see the difference? I mean, tell him he's not much of an engineer, and he'll laugh in your face. Tell him he's a shitty person, and he'll probably take it.

Steve's approval and affection and trust mean a hell of a lot to him; he's twice stopped his heart and once inhaled lethal poison to protect Steve. So it's not unreasonable to suppose that if he were in a relationship with Steve, he'd pretty much bend to Steve's will in all relationship matters, even if it meant rough treatment, because he's used to being treated badly, and really, what does a bit of damage to Tony matter? He gets worse fighting supervillains every week, and it's a small price to pay for Steve's continuing affection.

So, uh, yeah, it's enhanced in this fic of course, but Tony having a low sense of self-worth seems pretty accurate to me. :)

I mean, tell him he's not much of an engineer, and he'll laugh in your face. Tell him he's a shitty person, and he'll probably take it.

Yeah, I know what you mean. All of his self-worth seems to be professional, based on what he can do, and on how he can be useful, rather than personal, about his value as himself.

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Short fic, Steve/Tony, non-explicit

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re: expectation of violence

Re: expectation of violence

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Interesting insight

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